Tuesday, August 25, 2009



Ok, dats my fear......, bad SPOT.. SHUCKS. Wareva.

Its like dis.........
Some weeks ago, i spent a few days with a young couple. Oh well, 2 years gone into the union,and the picture i see....... Oh, MARRIAGE.
Cleaning up after her hubby, is more than a days job, with little or no contribution even at his own spare time.
Thank goodness, no kids yet, i wonder what the picture would have been.

Then, i spend a few days with my sister,.... I still feel that bitter taste in my mouth of, OH MARRIAGE. Nothing Bad on her side, but i stil can't help but feel PARANOID.

Since i was a kid,... Everyday, i watch my mum.., i see her anguish,i feel her pain,... But still, MARRIAGE.

I daydream about it,muse about it, paint pictures about it, but still can't deal with it.

I've got plenty of negatives about it.

My childhood, din't help it.

Can't afford to be a bad mother or wife.

Or even walk out of it.

I have a huge fear for it, that i know.
One that'l break the hearts of....,......

Oh,what about them, they've lived their lives, and this is mine.

I believe in LOVE.

I don't have a RELATIONSHIP.

I'll be MARRIED some day.

And I love CHILDREN.

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Wen i consider, the curious habit of puberty stricken boys as pertaining to sex, i'm often worried to my guts as to wot my brother's are into. DANG.

After my interactions with some male folks, about their first sexual encounter, the answers, i got......... Whewww...... ..... I hope my brother's are not victims to this. *sighs*.

Well, i may say, we don't have a househelp, cuz dats usually their first escapade, but what about, neighbours, class teacher, and the crazy bunch of wild female luking for young boys to devour.

A friend once told me,he ran into their old househelp who happened to be his first lay and almost Puked. For the life of me,he says, " i'l neva have stuck my thing into that".
I wöndered at this point, why call her "THAT" now, i mean you also did it with ur AUNTIES.......

For my other friend, it was his Sister and that hunts him till this day. ;-( ;-(:-(. But you enjoyed it while it lasted, DIN'T YOU?????

One day, i'l sit and listen to my brother's tale.......

Letting go

Dis came 4rm d fact dat i'v cme to accept d fact dat i cnt change wot..... Well, i dnt knw.

Sometimes, letting go doesn't mean " U LOST". It mite just b wot u nid or so i fink... ;) . But the reality of it.........

For some months nw, and d life of me, i'v decided to let d hurt take its ful course so dat d future wil b secured. Yeah, i'v goofed too bt dat doesn't change a fing about me cz i'm only human.


Now, i'v pickd myslf up 4rm d mud of misery i'v bn wallowing in and ruins of false blames to my Old Game.