MY SOUND OF MUSIC

I was 16 going on 17,knowing that i'm naive.
Fellows i meet, they tell me i'm sweet and willingly i believe.

I was 16 going on 17, Innocent as a Rose. Eager young lads and roués and cads, Offered me FOOD AND WINE.
Totally Unprepared i was,to face the world of MEN.
Timid and shy and scared i was, of things beyond my KEN.

When u're 16 going on 17, waiting for life to start. Somebody kind who touches your mind,will suddenly touch your heart.
When that happens,AFfter it happens, nothing is quite the same.


SO, ADVENTURE BECKONED, AND FOOLISHLY, I COULDN'T RESIST.

I fell in LUST or INFATUATION bt certainly not LOVE. Wot did i know then? Couldn't tell them apart.
A foolish girl with romantic notions about thd life of an eager teenager waiting to explode.

My LUST was passionate. But over the months, my feelings changed.
HE DISSAPPOINTED ME. IGNORED ME.
We settled into a relatiönship of peaceful indifference. The old husband & wife,who sit side by side on the Sofa, but rarely speak.
He knows i wouldn't leave him.
I felt it was my duty.
But when LUST & Duty are one, Then DISASTER WILL BEFALL YOU.

YOU MAY THINK THIS KINDA ADVENTURE, MAY NEVER COME TO YOU.

Darling 16's going on 17, WAIT A YEAR OR TWO.

Nothing comes from Nothing.
Nothing ever Could.
So, Somewhere in your YOUTH OR CHILDHOOD, TRY TO DO ,SOMETHING GOOD.

Hapi wkend y'all.

MY NIECE,OUR DOG &HER ALPHABETS.

In my day's spare time,i tutor my lil niece SALMONELLA(one of her numerous names,from the movie "HAPILY NEVA AFTA"). GREENADE(FROM HER ALLERGY TO PEANUTS). YAATT(FROM HER SUPRISE WEN NEPA FLASHES THE LIGHT)& of course SCARAABB(FROM HER FIRST PERIWINKLE XPERIENCE). This lil 3year old,loves bullying everyone bt hates being bullied&neva a day witout COOKIES.

In my father's house,dere's the most rubbish dog we've ever had. He's called ROVER. To him,he's just the last child of the house&my father does treat him as one. He does nutin but eat,watch tv,play&sleep. Once,there had been a gunshot in our house,he was the first to dock behind the chair. A DOG INDEED.

In our tutorial class,we've gone tru the ALPHABET CD'S Severally. Identification of shapes,animals&colours. Her major problem is,she can't hold a pencil.

Today,we were set out to impress her parents,alongside her grandparents. So here we go!!

A is for APPLE.
B is for BALL.
C is for COOKIE.&
D is for ROVER.

Evrione burst out laughing.
Of course she wasn't wrong. SHE'S JUST SMART or Wot d'u think?

I still get paid for doing my job.

THIS AND THAT.

hi people been a whyle i've been here.


So at the wedding, from my last post, i decided to take part. Dunno wot happend,maybe some kinda magic in the LITTLE WHITE DRESS that helped me overcome my AGORA PHOBIA.
It came with the music "ALL THE SINGLE LADIES". TO HAVE MYSELF SOME FUN, I JUMPED TO THE CENTRE OF THE HALL DANCING(I REALLY DNT KNOW HOW TO)AND THEN TIME FOR THE BRIDE TO THROW HER BOUQUET. SO PATIENTLY I WAITED AND BINGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I CAUGHT IT. THIS meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. hehehehehehehehhehehe.
wateva, the wedding went well for me xcept for the fact that CRAZY tried to hook me up with her TENTACLES from th night before. Of course i had to keep my NOT INTERESTED LOOK IN PLACE. MCHEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.


TODAY GOT ME THINKING ON THE WRONG SIDE. LIKE..............

WHICH WAY AM I HEADED?
WHERE DO I GO?
WHO DO I RUN TO?

I'm most confused right now and all i can do is let the tears down.
LIFE right now....... i don't have the best opinion abt it. Everything seems hard. like struggle day and night for nothing at all.
I HATE THE QUESTION WHY?? BUT NOW I'M ASKING, WHY???

WHY ARE THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE?
WHY DO WE HAVE TO FIGHT TO SURVIVE?
WHY DO WE STRUGGLE EVERYDAY WITH NOTHING IN SIGHT TO SHOW FOR IT??
WHY IS LIFE SOMETIMES BLANK???

WHO can answer these questions without petting it????

I'm in a bad place now and even I, don't understand it. i've lost that self confidence.... cuz nothing seems to be working around mee.

LIFE SEEMS NOT RIGHT. MY FAMILY, NO GOOD FRIENDS, NO JOB.... INFACT EVERYTHING.
SO I CRIED MYSELF TO UNCONSCIOUSNESS. I AM DEPRESSED.
LIFE'S AN IRONY. It has stung me, i hurt but still smile cuz in THE HIDDEN PART OF MY BROKEN SOUL, I SEE A TINY SPARK THAT SAYS "HOLD ON, CUZ IT'S YET MORNING ON CREATION DAY".


SO HERE'S ANOTHER WHY QUESTION.

WHY DO PEOPLE SETTLE FOR THE ALTERNATIVE, WHEN TIME CAN PERFECT THE BEST???

U SEE, FEAR OF BEING ALONE, MAKES HASTY DECISIONS AND RESULTS TO ISSUES.
ISSUES THAT MIGHT SCAR AND HAUNT YOU FOR A LONG TIME. AND DOOM IF NOT CONTROLLED. HAVEN'T SEEN THE DOOM PART MYSELF BUT YEAH,.......... WATCHED A CONTROVERSY, OR IS IT STILL PLAYING??????????

1) HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS AND SHE TOO. BUT WENEVA SHE'S IN TOWN, SORRY FOR THOSE THEY LEFT BEHIND,CUZ THE SPARK'S STILL THERE AND YES THEY CHEAT ON THEIR SPOUSES EMOTIONALLY.

2) SHE'S WELL ABOVE 50, AND HE 60 +. HER HUSBAND'S LATE, DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIS WIFE.

YOU KNOW WOT???? THE AGE DOESN'T MATTER. THEY SPEND COUNTLESS MINUTES ON THE PHONE, REMINISCING ABOUT OLD TIMES, WOT WAS, WOT COULD HAVE BEEN AND NOW.

LOVE OR LUST, KNOWS NO AGE. IT CATCHES UP WITH YOU.

OK,FUNNY, THE FIRST SHE, IS THE DAUGHTER OF THE SECOND SHE. YOU MAY THINK "LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER", BUT U SEE, LIFE IS JUST IRONIC. THE GRAND CHILD IS ON THE SAME MISSION.
I JUST LOVE THIS DRAMA.


NOW

THAT BRINGS ME TO MY AGONY, "MARRIAGE". YOU SEE, I LOVE WEDDINGS, BUT I KINDA NOT LIKE THAT PART IN CHURCH WEN THE VOWS ARE EXCHANGED.

NOW WHY???????????????


DO U TAKE . . . . . . TO BE UR LAWFUL WEDDED SPOUSE?? TO LOVE AND TO HOLD? FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, FOR BETTER FOR WORSE? FOR RICHER,FOR POORER? IN SICKNESS, AND IN HEALTH??? TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH?? UNTIL WE ARE PARTED BY DEATH, ACCORDING TO GOD'S HOLY LAW??? THIS IS MY SOLEMN VOW.

SOMEONE MURDERED TRUTH. WHAT HAPPENED TO NEVER MAKE PROMISES U CAN'T KEEP.

SO FOR EVERY ONE OF MY FRIENDS, GOING JELLY JOLLY OVER GETTING MARRIED, .............. SURELY, MY BEST WISHES.

UNTIL I CAN DEAL WITH O'LEVEL RELATIONSHIPS, THEN WILL MY JOURNEY COMMENCE.

FOR NOW, I'LL JUST BE A SPECTATOR.

I AM UNBELIEVABLY..... ....

SKINNY. Yeah SKINNY, Yesterday confirmed so.

Wot do i do???
At the G's, theres a wedding planned for the weekend and of course, Miss skinny,needs a dress.
On my mini b.day shopping,in a clothe shop(my sister's wardrobe),nothing seems to fit xcept for the LITTLE WHITE DRESS dat led my mum to ask:

MUM: WOT'S THIS?

ME: A DRESS.:-(

MUM: SAYS WHO?

ME: DOLCE&GABANA.
Wot now mum?? this is the only thing that seem to fit.

Ok, CRAZY & I set out on this journey. D G's driver came 4 us. The journey just begun.

There's a formal dinner/party tonite. All dressd and out, all the food on the table seem to be in front of me like i had a "MAKE ME FAT" post hanging on my neck. Mcheewww. Dinner passed slowly then i got bored. Evri1 mingling two by two, now wots this Skinny lonley sister to do???

MR G and I fall into a conversation and that felt good. Half an hour later, he's gone and Skinny's alone again. Meanwhyl, CRAZY is busy doing wot she does best(embarasing me). Sumthing i'm missing or just not seeing!!!! *blink blink*. CRAZY knows the groom. I mean KNOWS. Dis gurl sef. Nuff rezpeckkkttt.

I'm a bit tired and wana just hit the sacks. Tomorrow's yet a continuation... ... ... ...

But people in BLOGviLLE, WOT CAN A SISTER DO TO GAIN SOME??

Don't name drugs cuz it din't work.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

It struck me like the lightening(BOREDOM),and i pick my handbag with the excuse of going to pick some stuff... And zoom, i ran off to calabar yesterday. Oh, i'v missed you for a month plus.

In one night, I touched almost all the places i love the most&the people i wanted to see, cuz something tells me,THIS JOURNEY MIGHT BE CUT SHORT.

My aunt calls today, saying "I KNOW U'RE BORED, HENCE THE TRIP". Truth!!!, damn truth.
Then again, she says the sweetest thing ever.
AN ALL EXPENSE PAID TRIP WITH THE G.FAMILY. they're xpecting you.
DID I HEAR WELL???
THIS MITE JUST BE THE P-U-R-R-FECT B.DAY GIFT.

The G.FAMILY is made up of a blunt,funloving,funky father. A petit,quiet, but very insightful mother. Lovely grown up kids,male&female alike. And a host of exciting relations.
NOW, whether my pops likes it or not, My journey has just begun.
THEN AGAIN,i smell a RAT.

"CRAZY" heard about my trip,and now,it's the both of us.
CRAZY is my mad cousin whom i have nothing in common with,xcept for a bad nail bitting habit we got from our Great-grand mum. She leaves nothing but trouble where ever she goes. SHE'S SIMPLY CALLED "BAD NEWS". Evri1 knows. HOW CAN I HANDLE HER ON THIS???
I'l sure write about her after this trip.

Its my B.DAY tomorrow,and here's my line up:

DRESS CODE: (GREEN-WHITE-GREEN). SOME HOURS IN CHURCH. THE SALON. MINI SHOPPIN. And anything else that comes up.
FBI,Wants to hang out with me. FBI(FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR)&CRAZY, Are the worst COMBO amongst all my cousins. DISASTER COMBO.

A potential boyfriend material called a week b4 to announce his arrival, and...

ME: Cool. I'll be here.

Don't i just love my AUNT. Dude i'm sorry.
I'm not giving up this weekend trip for anything in the world.
My whole mind's on it.

I din't see it coming...

I'm God's delight.
I'm best alive.
I'm God's own child.
So broad i smile.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
:-) ;-).

FAMILY!!! CAN U RUN FROM IT???

These are not the best times, to be in my FATHER'S HOUSE. Come to think of it, WHEN HAS???
Ok,yeah, i admit. There has been some good but.....

Dad's non-chalancy kips digging up old memories/scars i've been long tryna kill.*sobs*. MY HEART SIMPLY ACHES.

Thank goodness to some level of Understanding my siblings and I have. One day, THESE TIMES, will be 4eva past.

MUM&DAD,Maybe are not meant to be 2geda afterall. I'v always nutured this emotion since i was 5/6years of age.And i know,its true. BUT WATEVA BROUGHT THEM 2GEDA??? ARE THEY STILL 2GEDA BECUZ OF US??? Truth is,these 2 adults here,living under the same roof, have no RELATIONSHIP WHATSOÉVER and these days,more than ever b4,seem to get on each other's nerves.

MUM spends more time in CHURCH these days. And DAD,on a peace mission that leaves the FAMILY in DANGER. I tot family always came first or is mine from VENUS.

Wen i left home last year, i said i wasn't going back there. But as the saying goes, "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME". So i came back. Its been a month plus, but never a day without ISSUES.

I feel like i'm carrying a load thatz too heavy for me. I'v nowhere to go, so i'm down on my KNEES.
I read that portion of the Bible"MARK 11:23-24". Thrèe things struck me.
1)PRAY.

2)BELIEVE.

3)RECIEVE.
This is a trial of FAITH. GOD, let thy will be done.

In a couple of days(4days), i'l be +1,
+positive change, + new phase, + no going back, +over you, +MARY J(NO MORE DRAMA),Had enof for 2009. +1 new language(FRENCH OR SPANISH), +100% HENCE FORTH.

SO HELP ME GOD.

WOULD YOU TELL A TOTAL STRANGER BECAUSE HE'S A "PRIEST"?

She couldn't stay, and off she ran to church... ... ... ...!!!!

CONFESSION:

SHE: Father 4gve me for i have sinned. *quiet**

PRIEST: Go On....

SHE: This is my first confession since i was... ... Um ehm em em em.

U know wot FATHER, i can't tell you anymore. I don't trust you.
Infact, you tell me! D'u fantasize abt the women in ur congregation????

I bet u'l neva tell that to a total STRANGER like me. So WHY do i ave to TRUST you with my WORDS.

So she carries her guilt and shame&weeps al the way HOME,Broken - Spirited.

NOBODY KNOWS YOUR SECRETS,UNTIL YOU SHARE THEM, ITS NO LONGER CALLED A SECRET BUT "SHARED KNOWLEDGE".