IT'S BEEN SOME DAYS AWAY FROM HERE AND IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER. PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
I'VE MISSED IT HERE OH.
ON MY LAST POST *SAVE ME NOW*, EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO TRUE EXCEPT FOR THE AHMED PART OF THE STORY. I WOULD SHAVE OFF MY EYE BROW BEFORE I EVA DO THAT TO AHMED.... AND THAT LEADS ME TO THE QUESTION * AM I IN LOVE WITH AHMED???
ANS: NOT AT ALL.
Q: SO WHAT IS DIS???
A: I WISH I KNEW.
SO TODAY, I'M ON *YBB*............ AND THIS IS MY STORY....................
HAVING GRADUATED 3YEARS AGO and of course,the usual one year stay at home.but in my case, i had a yr and half stay cuz my name got omitted for NYSC, PLUS A YEAR FOR NYSC PROPER WHICH SHIELDED ME FROM THE INITIAL REALITY OF UNEMPLOYMENT.
THIS WAS FOLLOWED BY THE PLANS OF TRAVELLING OVERSEAS FOR A MASTER'S PROGRAMME WHICH HAS BEEN POSTPONED INDEFINITELY DUE TO FINANCIAL CHALLENGES.
I HAVE BEEN LEFT WITH NO REGULAR INCOME AND A SOMEWAT COSTLY LIFESTYLE TO SUPPORT.(LOL).
STUDENTS BUDGETS FROM PARENTS ARE OFTEN XTREMELY GENEROUS AND THE WIDER FAMILY(AUNTS/UNCLES etc) TEND TO BE SUPPORTIVE WITH CASH GIFTS ON BIRTHDAYS, XMAS OR FOR EDUCATIONAL RELATED XPENSES.
N/B: ONCE EDUCATION IS COMPLETED, THE SUPPORT SYSTEM IS WITHDRAWN AND FINANCIAL REALITY CAN BE VERY CHILLING INDEED.
AFTER THESE YEARS OF FINDING OUT THAT THERE IS NOT IMMEDIATE USE FOR THE SKILLS DAT SOMEONE HAS WORKED SO HARD TO ACQUIRE IS A SHOCKING REALIZATION. IT ROCKS THE CAREFULLY CULTIVATED CONFIDENCE AND SELF BELIEF BUT IT ALSO PRESENTS A MAJOR FINANCIAL CHALLENGE.
UNEMPLOYMENT, DEPRIVES THOSE CONCERNED THEIR FINANCIAL AND SOCIAL INDEPENDENCE, FORCING THEM TO CONTINUE TO DEPEND ON FAMILIES FOR FINANCIAL SUPPORT. THEY CONTINUE LIVING AT HOME POSTPONIONG MAJOR ASSET PURCHASES, MARRIAGE AND OTHER MAJOR COMMITMENTS. THERE IS ALSO A DISRUPTION IN THE ABILITY TO PLAN AND SAVE FOR THE FUTURE AS SOME OF THE KEY YEARS IN THE EARNINGS LIFE CYCLE IS LOST.
HAVING GONE THRU MY BANK STATEMENT RECENTLY,I REALIZED THAT I'M ON THE ZERO LIMIT. MHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. LOL MISS INDEPENDENT IS FAST LOOSING IT.
WITH A JOB, JUST A FOOTHOLD AWAY, IT'S TIME TO CALL ON FAMILY............. MY PRIDE IS HURTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAMA IME IHE OJOOOOOOOOOO, I'LL JUST MAKE THAT CALL.
U SEE,I WAS SMART ENOF TO SAVE UP SOME CASH DURING MY SERVICE YEAR FOR A TIME LIKE THIS. IT DID COME IN HANDY........ HAVING COLLAPSED MY SMALL FIXED DEPOSIT, IT'S BEEN GREAT CHOPPING THE MONEY,,,,,,,,, NA MY MONEY JOR...... AND IT HELPED AS A BASE FOR MY PROJECT SO I DON'T REGRET A DAY FOR PUTTIN AWAY THAT STASH.
BUT NOW, POCKET IS FAST RUNNIN DRY AND LIL MISS INDEPENDENT WANA DO AN XCLUSIVE XMAS SHOPPING BUT I'M YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL AND BROKE( YBB) BUT GOD DEY, ABI NO BE SO????????????????? WHO WILL BELL THE CAT BUT FAMILY??????????????????????( AUTIES, UNCLES, COUSINS ETC, HERE I COME)
SO HERE ARE THE TIPS I CAME UP WITH TO AVOID BEING "YBB":
1) USE FAMILY SUPPORT WISELY TO ENHANCE UR EARNINGS CAPACITY. e.g SEEK FUNDS TO TAKE COURSES RATHER THAN TO FUND LIFESTYLE.
2)BE FLEXIBLE,BE CREATIVE IN IDENTIFYING VALUE ADDING OPPORTUNITY. WORKING AS AN INTERN OR OFFERING FREE SERVICES IS SUPERIOR TO SITTING AT HOME.IF ONLY PSYCHOLOGICALLY, IT ALSO GIVES U A CHANCE TO SHOWCASE UR SKILLS.
3) TRY TO REMAIN ECONOMICALLY ACTIVE.i.e TRY TO ASSIST MEETING THE NEEDS OF THOSE SUPPORTING YOU EVEN IF THEY DEMAND NOTHING OF YOU.
4)IF U ARE OUT OF EDUCATION AND STILL OUT OF THE JOB MARKET,DO THINGS THAT WILL ENHANCE UR CV AND MAKE U STAND OUT.e.g DEVELPING A LANGUAGE SKILL.
5)HAVE A BUDGET LINE EVEN IF UR INCOME LINE IS ZERO. IT WILL ALLOW U CALCULATE HOW MUCH MONEY U NEED TO SURVIVE EACH MONTH.
FIRST TIME SPENDING XMAS AWAY FROM HOME, BUT WITH AHMED AROUND. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I HOPE I DNT RUN HOME OHHHHH.
HAPPY WKEND Y'ALL.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
SAVE ME SOON.
WHAT HAVE I BECOME?????
ALLERGIC TO LOVE???
DEAD TO ALL EMOTIONS????
A COLD UNFEELING BIATCH AS I'VE BEEN PRESENTLY TAGGED.........
GOD, I WASN'T THIS WAY. I'VE NEVER BEEN AND WILL NEVER BE....... BUT WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW??????????????????
THANKS TO U *M*, I'VE BEEN TAGGED AS THIS *CUB*...... MHHHHHHHH , I KINDA FANCY THE NAME DOH,,,,, MAKES ME FEEL ALL IN CHARGE. YES, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AND FROM HENCEFORTH, CONTINUE TO BE, CUZ I AM A BITCH.
RECENTLY, I'VE MET SOME REAL COOL GUYS, WHO COULD HAVE MADE A BOBO, BUT SUMWHERE ALONG THE LINE, I JUST FIND A REASON TO TELL THEM OFF. IT EVEN GETS WORSE THAT TODAY, WHILE I WENT TO SEE AHMED..............
YEA, AHMED THAT I EVEN LIKE A LOT.MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
HERE IS AHMED, WHO JUST GOT BACK AND WE SEAT TO GIST AS NORMAL. HE GETS ON ONE KNEE, WITH A RING IN HAND.MHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. NOT JUST ANY RING OH.......... A RING HIS MOTHER GAVE HIM SINCE LONG AGO......... ASKING ME TO BE OFFICIAL WITH US.
I JUST SAT THERE LAUGHING OUT LOUD *EVIL LAFTER*....... LIKE HE GOT A MASK ON HIS FACE. AND EVER SO SWEETLY, I SAID A BIG *NO* WITH A PECK ON HIS CHEEK.
OWWWWWWWW, POOR BOY, U NEEDED TO SEE THE LOOK ON HIS CANDID FACE.
TEARS WELLED UP HIS EYES, NOSE TWITCHED AS HE FOUGHT BACK TEARS, AND HIS MOUTH OPENED AND CLOSED AS HE TRIED TO FIND THE WORDS TO SPEAK. POOR BOY.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??????
WHEN DID I BECOME THIS MONSTER????????
WHERE HAVE ALL MY FEELINGS GONE???????
WHO CAN SAVE ME NOW??????????
ALLERGIC TO LOVE???
DEAD TO ALL EMOTIONS????
A COLD UNFEELING BIATCH AS I'VE BEEN PRESENTLY TAGGED.........
GOD, I WASN'T THIS WAY. I'VE NEVER BEEN AND WILL NEVER BE....... BUT WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW??????????????????
THANKS TO U *M*, I'VE BEEN TAGGED AS THIS *CUB*...... MHHHHHHHH , I KINDA FANCY THE NAME DOH,,,,, MAKES ME FEEL ALL IN CHARGE. YES, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AND FROM HENCEFORTH, CONTINUE TO BE, CUZ I AM A BITCH.
RECENTLY, I'VE MET SOME REAL COOL GUYS, WHO COULD HAVE MADE A BOBO, BUT SUMWHERE ALONG THE LINE, I JUST FIND A REASON TO TELL THEM OFF. IT EVEN GETS WORSE THAT TODAY, WHILE I WENT TO SEE AHMED..............
YEA, AHMED THAT I EVEN LIKE A LOT.MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
HERE IS AHMED, WHO JUST GOT BACK AND WE SEAT TO GIST AS NORMAL. HE GETS ON ONE KNEE, WITH A RING IN HAND.MHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. NOT JUST ANY RING OH.......... A RING HIS MOTHER GAVE HIM SINCE LONG AGO......... ASKING ME TO BE OFFICIAL WITH US.
I JUST SAT THERE LAUGHING OUT LOUD *EVIL LAFTER*....... LIKE HE GOT A MASK ON HIS FACE. AND EVER SO SWEETLY, I SAID A BIG *NO* WITH A PECK ON HIS CHEEK.
OWWWWWWWW, POOR BOY, U NEEDED TO SEE THE LOOK ON HIS CANDID FACE.
TEARS WELLED UP HIS EYES, NOSE TWITCHED AS HE FOUGHT BACK TEARS, AND HIS MOUTH OPENED AND CLOSED AS HE TRIED TO FIND THE WORDS TO SPEAK. POOR BOY.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??????
WHEN DID I BECOME THIS MONSTER????????
WHERE HAVE ALL MY FEELINGS GONE???????
WHO CAN SAVE ME NOW??????????
Friday, December 11, 2009
EZI AHA KA EGO(A GOOD NAME IS BETTER THAN MONEY)
THANK Y'ALL FOR CHEERING ME UP WITH UR COMMENTS ON MY LAST POST.I APPRECIATE.
LET ME DIGRESS A LIL, B4 I COME TO THE TITLE OF THIS POST.
THE BOOK LAUNCH/LUNCH YESTERDAY WAS SUCCESSFUL. THE DRIVER CAME FOR ME AS PROMISED AND I ARRIVED AT THE VENUE CUTELY/COOPERATELY DRESSED. IT'S GOOD TO HAVE DRESS SENSE OH.LOL
THE VENUE WAS THE "NATIONAL DEFENCE COLLEGE, ABUJA. WITH ALL THE MILITARY IN PLACE AND SOME TOP GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, I KNEW I HAD TO TURN MY SWAGG ON.
WITH ALL CONFIDENCE, I WALKED TO MY SEAT, DIRECTLY FACING THE MINISTER OF DEFENCE. THERE WAS MR *ABC* AND *XYZ*, AND THE LAUNCHER. AS I SAT, AN AIR CDRE SAT BESIDE ME AND STARTED TO MAKE SMALL TALKS.
AIR: CAN I KNOW U?
ARE U A REPORTER?
TOO MANY QUESTIONS COMING AT ONCE.......... SO I STAYED MUTE.
AIR: IS IT UR UNCLE LAUNCHING?
ME: QUICKLY, I SAID YES, AND GOT UP AND MOVED AWAY FROM THERE. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. PEVERT. IDIOT. GOAT. OKPEKE. DODO HEAD. U NEVER SEE FINE GIRL BEFORE???????????????
AFTER ALL 'EM SPEECHES, THE BOOK WAS UNVEILED AND LAUNCHING BEGAN. THIS IDIOT *AIR* KEPT LOOKING AT ME AND OK, HE GOT ME A COPY OF THE BOOK SHA.......... LIKE I DIN'T HAVE ONE ALREADY B4 NOW. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. NEWAYS, I TOOK IT AND GAVE IT OUT. AS WE FILLED OUT TO LUNCH, HE STILL FOLLOWED ME LIKE A BUG, BUT THANKS TO MR *ABC* WHOM I SPOTTED AND FOLLOWED ALL THRU TO THE *MESS* WHERE LUNCH WAS SERVED.
AFTER A WHYLE, I BEGAN TO WONDER IF I WAS THE ONLY FEMALE IN THE HALL, AS ALL THE MEN TURNED THEIR ATTENTION TO ME. MR *XYZ* BEGAN TO ACT THE FATHER FIGURE AS HE NOTICED. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. NUMBERS WERE FLYING AROUND ME LIKE DUST. THESE OLD MEN ARE JUST HOPELESS IDIOTS.
I'M GLAD I DIN'T DO ANYFING STUPID.
MNWHYLE, SOME GURLS ARE JUST............ PLAIN STUPID. IT'S A BOOK LAUNCH/LUNCH, NOT A QUEST FOR MAN HUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
SO, BACK TO MY TITLE,.................... MY GRANDAD LIVED SO WELL AND BUILT A REPUTATION FOR HIMSELF. HIS PRINCIPLES HE INSTILLED IN MY POPSIE, WHO HAS CARRIED ON AND ALSO MADE AN UN-TARNISHABLE NAME/IMAGE FOR HIMSELF. TODAY, I FLAUNT WITH WHAT THEY HAVE ACHIEVED AND I'VE ASSOCIATED/MET WITH DIFFERENT CLASSES OF PEOPLE WITH THAT. THE WORST I CAN DO IS TO RUIN THAT.
HONESTY, STILL REMAINS THE BEST POLICY.
DO NOT BE CARRIED AWAY BY THE THINGS OF THE WORLD.
ALL GOOD THINGS, COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.
IF U ARE AFRAID OF RUINING A NAME, IT MEANS IT'S A NAME WORTH KEEPING BECAUSE YOU NEVER CAN TELL.
REACH OUT TO THOSE WHO COME TO YOU/OR THOSE WHO U THINK NEED YOU, *ECHI DI IME* (TOMORROW IS PREGNANT).
I AM MY FATHER'S CHILD, I HAVE LEARNT A LOT FROM THAT.
P.SS, MR *ABC* APPOLOGISED FOR STANDING ME UP.
LET ME DIGRESS A LIL, B4 I COME TO THE TITLE OF THIS POST.
THE BOOK LAUNCH/LUNCH YESTERDAY WAS SUCCESSFUL. THE DRIVER CAME FOR ME AS PROMISED AND I ARRIVED AT THE VENUE CUTELY/COOPERATELY DRESSED. IT'S GOOD TO HAVE DRESS SENSE OH.LOL
THE VENUE WAS THE "NATIONAL DEFENCE COLLEGE, ABUJA. WITH ALL THE MILITARY IN PLACE AND SOME TOP GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, I KNEW I HAD TO TURN MY SWAGG ON.
WITH ALL CONFIDENCE, I WALKED TO MY SEAT, DIRECTLY FACING THE MINISTER OF DEFENCE. THERE WAS MR *ABC* AND *XYZ*, AND THE LAUNCHER. AS I SAT, AN AIR CDRE SAT BESIDE ME AND STARTED TO MAKE SMALL TALKS.
AIR: CAN I KNOW U?
ARE U A REPORTER?
TOO MANY QUESTIONS COMING AT ONCE.......... SO I STAYED MUTE.
AIR: IS IT UR UNCLE LAUNCHING?
ME: QUICKLY, I SAID YES, AND GOT UP AND MOVED AWAY FROM THERE. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. PEVERT. IDIOT. GOAT. OKPEKE. DODO HEAD. U NEVER SEE FINE GIRL BEFORE???????????????
AFTER ALL 'EM SPEECHES, THE BOOK WAS UNVEILED AND LAUNCHING BEGAN. THIS IDIOT *AIR* KEPT LOOKING AT ME AND OK, HE GOT ME A COPY OF THE BOOK SHA.......... LIKE I DIN'T HAVE ONE ALREADY B4 NOW. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. NEWAYS, I TOOK IT AND GAVE IT OUT. AS WE FILLED OUT TO LUNCH, HE STILL FOLLOWED ME LIKE A BUG, BUT THANKS TO MR *ABC* WHOM I SPOTTED AND FOLLOWED ALL THRU TO THE *MESS* WHERE LUNCH WAS SERVED.
AFTER A WHYLE, I BEGAN TO WONDER IF I WAS THE ONLY FEMALE IN THE HALL, AS ALL THE MEN TURNED THEIR ATTENTION TO ME. MR *XYZ* BEGAN TO ACT THE FATHER FIGURE AS HE NOTICED. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. NUMBERS WERE FLYING AROUND ME LIKE DUST. THESE OLD MEN ARE JUST HOPELESS IDIOTS.
I'M GLAD I DIN'T DO ANYFING STUPID.
MNWHYLE, SOME GURLS ARE JUST............ PLAIN STUPID. IT'S A BOOK LAUNCH/LUNCH, NOT A QUEST FOR MAN HUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
SO, BACK TO MY TITLE,.................... MY GRANDAD LIVED SO WELL AND BUILT A REPUTATION FOR HIMSELF. HIS PRINCIPLES HE INSTILLED IN MY POPSIE, WHO HAS CARRIED ON AND ALSO MADE AN UN-TARNISHABLE NAME/IMAGE FOR HIMSELF. TODAY, I FLAUNT WITH WHAT THEY HAVE ACHIEVED AND I'VE ASSOCIATED/MET WITH DIFFERENT CLASSES OF PEOPLE WITH THAT. THE WORST I CAN DO IS TO RUIN THAT.
HONESTY, STILL REMAINS THE BEST POLICY.
DO NOT BE CARRIED AWAY BY THE THINGS OF THE WORLD.
ALL GOOD THINGS, COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.
IF U ARE AFRAID OF RUINING A NAME, IT MEANS IT'S A NAME WORTH KEEPING BECAUSE YOU NEVER CAN TELL.
REACH OUT TO THOSE WHO COME TO YOU/OR THOSE WHO U THINK NEED YOU, *ECHI DI IME* (TOMORROW IS PREGNANT).
I AM MY FATHER'S CHILD, I HAVE LEARNT A LOT FROM THAT.
P.SS, MR *ABC* APPOLOGISED FOR STANDING ME UP.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
MY TODAY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,. *HISS HISS*. IHE NWATA NWANYI NA AGABIGA(WOT A GIRL PASSES THRU), IN THE HANDS OF MEN.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO AND SEE MR "ABC" TODAY ON POPSIES INSTRUCTION. HAVIN' CALLED HIM IN THE MORNING, HE ASKED ME TO COME BY 12:30PM. SO I CALLED LIKE 5 TIMES AND HE NEVA PICKED UP NEIDA DID HE RETURN MY CALLS. STUPID IDIOT. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
SO MR *XYZ* CALLS AND I'M ALL EXCITED. MR *XYZ*, IS LIKE FAMILY AND SO I GO TO SEE HIM KNOWING HE'LL ALSO HELP ME SEE MR *ABC*. IN MY INNOCENT MIND. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWW.
I GOT TO HIS HOUSE AND HE WELCOMED ME WITH A WARM HUG, BUT A LIL MORE UNCOMFORTING, AND I SHRUGGED OFF. WE TALKED ABOUT STUFF, AND OF COURSE HE'S SUPPOSED TO CONTRIBUTE TO MY PROJECT. ANOTHER REASON I HAD TO GO SEE HIM. MSCHEWWWWWWWWW.
HE STARTED TO MAKE ADVANCES AT ME AND I JUST COULDN'T GET IT. IS IT BECAUSE MY DAD AIN'T HERE???????????????????????????? SO I TOLD HIM TO PISS OFF WITH ANNOYANCE AND MADE IT KNOWN TO HIM THAT IT'S ONLY IF I'M DEAD B4 HE GETS AWAY WITH HIS LUST. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. HE STATRS MAKING APPLOGIES AND WANTED TO MAKE UP FOR IT.
TOGETHER WE WENT TO A FRIEND OF HIS WHO'S LAUNCHING A BOOK TOMORROW AND THERE I MET THE GUY WHO DUPED MY POPSIE SOME YEARS AGO. THE BEAST RECOGNIZED ME AND COULD HARDLY RESPOND TO MY GREETING, CUZ I GAVE HIM MY MEANEST LOOK...........*EVIL WICKED STEPMOTHER********LOL. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
NEWAYS,GOT A VIP INVITE TO THE BOOK LAUNCH. COMPENSATION FOR MY BAD DAY HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, AND A CAR TO PICK ME UP TOOOO. BUT STILL MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
RAN INTO AN OLD FRIEND AT THE VENUE OF THE BOOK LAUNCH,,,,,,,,, FUNNY ENOUGH, HE WORKS THERE TOOOOO.................... SO I HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO IF I GET BORED.
WHY ARE MEN JUST THIS WAY EHNN????????????????????MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
TALKED WITH AHMED TODAY JARE, AND HE'LL BE BACK ON SUNDAY, ISHO ALLAH. HE'S IN PERFECT HEALTH NOW.JUST ON MEDS. THANK GOD.
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM JO,,, OR SO I THINK AT THIS MOMENT. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
I MISS MY DAD, MUM AND MA SIBLINGS. LIKE I WANNA BE HOME RITE NOW, BUT MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
THIS IS A SIGHING POST. I PRAY TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW * 1MILLION.
GOODBYE 9-12-09.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO AND SEE MR "ABC" TODAY ON POPSIES INSTRUCTION. HAVIN' CALLED HIM IN THE MORNING, HE ASKED ME TO COME BY 12:30PM. SO I CALLED LIKE 5 TIMES AND HE NEVA PICKED UP NEIDA DID HE RETURN MY CALLS. STUPID IDIOT. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
SO MR *XYZ* CALLS AND I'M ALL EXCITED. MR *XYZ*, IS LIKE FAMILY AND SO I GO TO SEE HIM KNOWING HE'LL ALSO HELP ME SEE MR *ABC*. IN MY INNOCENT MIND. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWW.
I GOT TO HIS HOUSE AND HE WELCOMED ME WITH A WARM HUG, BUT A LIL MORE UNCOMFORTING, AND I SHRUGGED OFF. WE TALKED ABOUT STUFF, AND OF COURSE HE'S SUPPOSED TO CONTRIBUTE TO MY PROJECT. ANOTHER REASON I HAD TO GO SEE HIM. MSCHEWWWWWWWWW.
HE STARTED TO MAKE ADVANCES AT ME AND I JUST COULDN'T GET IT. IS IT BECAUSE MY DAD AIN'T HERE???????????????????????????? SO I TOLD HIM TO PISS OFF WITH ANNOYANCE AND MADE IT KNOWN TO HIM THAT IT'S ONLY IF I'M DEAD B4 HE GETS AWAY WITH HIS LUST. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. HE STATRS MAKING APPLOGIES AND WANTED TO MAKE UP FOR IT.
TOGETHER WE WENT TO A FRIEND OF HIS WHO'S LAUNCHING A BOOK TOMORROW AND THERE I MET THE GUY WHO DUPED MY POPSIE SOME YEARS AGO. THE BEAST RECOGNIZED ME AND COULD HARDLY RESPOND TO MY GREETING, CUZ I GAVE HIM MY MEANEST LOOK...........*EVIL WICKED STEPMOTHER********LOL. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
NEWAYS,GOT A VIP INVITE TO THE BOOK LAUNCH. COMPENSATION FOR MY BAD DAY HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, AND A CAR TO PICK ME UP TOOOO. BUT STILL MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
RAN INTO AN OLD FRIEND AT THE VENUE OF THE BOOK LAUNCH,,,,,,,,, FUNNY ENOUGH, HE WORKS THERE TOOOOO.................... SO I HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO IF I GET BORED.
WHY ARE MEN JUST THIS WAY EHNN????????????????????MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
TALKED WITH AHMED TODAY JARE, AND HE'LL BE BACK ON SUNDAY, ISHO ALLAH. HE'S IN PERFECT HEALTH NOW.JUST ON MEDS. THANK GOD.
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM JO,,, OR SO I THINK AT THIS MOMENT. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
I MISS MY DAD, MUM AND MA SIBLINGS. LIKE I WANNA BE HOME RITE NOW, BUT MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
THIS IS A SIGHING POST. I PRAY TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW * 1MILLION.
GOODBYE 9-12-09.
Monday, December 7, 2009
FOR AHMED
WHEN WORDS SEEM TO FAIL YOU.
AND FATE SEEMS TO TRICK YOU.
WHEN ALL SEEMS TO GO WRONG.
LOOK UP AND SEE LOVE.
WHEN LIFE SEEMS SO SHORT.
AND GRACE SEEMS ALL LOST.
WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN SOUTH.
GOD'S LOVE WILL LIGHT YOU UP.
OF HIS WILL YOU WERE BORN.
BY HIS GRACE YOU ARE SAVED.
BY HIS STRIPES, U WERE HEALED.
THUS SAITH THE LORD, YOU WILL LIVE.
AND JUST LIKE YESTERDAY.
THE MEMORIES WILL FADE AWAY.
THE TIDE IS HIGH TODAY.
BUT U'LL MOVE ON AS ALWAYS.
SPOKE WITH AHMED TODAY, AND HE'S DOING JUST FINE. HE'S STILL UNDERGOING SOME TEST NOW, NOT SO SURE ABOUT RE-SURGERY.
I KNOW AHMED LIKES ME A LOT. I DO LIKE HIM TOO. AND WE BOTH LIKE OURSELVES BUT WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER, WHY?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
IS IT BECAUSE HE'S A MUSLIM?????????? OR BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MARRIED TO HIS COUSIN????????????????(HE CALLED THAT OFF BECAUSE OF ME, SOME MONTHS AGO)HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. MIXED EMOTIONIONAL COMBAT................
GOD JUST KEEP HIM SAFE, I PRAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
AND FATE SEEMS TO TRICK YOU.
WHEN ALL SEEMS TO GO WRONG.
LOOK UP AND SEE LOVE.
WHEN LIFE SEEMS SO SHORT.
AND GRACE SEEMS ALL LOST.
WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN SOUTH.
GOD'S LOVE WILL LIGHT YOU UP.
OF HIS WILL YOU WERE BORN.
BY HIS GRACE YOU ARE SAVED.
BY HIS STRIPES, U WERE HEALED.
THUS SAITH THE LORD, YOU WILL LIVE.
AND JUST LIKE YESTERDAY.
THE MEMORIES WILL FADE AWAY.
THE TIDE IS HIGH TODAY.
BUT U'LL MOVE ON AS ALWAYS.
SPOKE WITH AHMED TODAY, AND HE'S DOING JUST FINE. HE'S STILL UNDERGOING SOME TEST NOW, NOT SO SURE ABOUT RE-SURGERY.
I KNOW AHMED LIKES ME A LOT. I DO LIKE HIM TOO. AND WE BOTH LIKE OURSELVES BUT WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER, WHY?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
IS IT BECAUSE HE'S A MUSLIM?????????? OR BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MARRIED TO HIS COUSIN????????????????(HE CALLED THAT OFF BECAUSE OF ME, SOME MONTHS AGO)HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. MIXED EMOTIONIONAL COMBAT................
GOD JUST KEEP HIM SAFE, I PRAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
SEX CATEGORIZED
I JUST WANNA SAY A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO "MADE ME SMILE" ON MY LAST POST BY LAUGHING AT ME.YEAH YEAH, BETTER DON'T TELL UR ORDEAL OR I'LL SURE LAUGH BACK. LOL
LAST FRIDAY, WHILE I WAS IN THE SALOON GETTING MY HAIR DONE, I LISTENED CAREFULLY AS SOME GIRLS DISCUSSED THEIR APPETITE FOR SEX, AND ALL THE CRAP THAT FILTERED THROUGH MY INNOCENT EARS( LOL). AND I COULDN'T HELP BUT TRY TO CATEGORIZE "SEX" BY ME. AND THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT IS SEX???????????????????????
SEX WHEN IN LOVE, CAN BE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING.( YOU CAN TESTIFY "WINK WINK")LOL
SEX WITHOUT ANY ATOM OF LIKENESS OR LOVE IS "JUST A WAR WITH THE GENITALS"
SEX FOR MONEY, WE ALL KNOW THE KOKO!!!!!!!!!!PROSTITUTION.
SAME SEX (GAY/LESBIANISM), SIMPLY DISGUSTING.
SELF HELP( MASTURBATION), HIGHLY BORING. WITH FINGER CRAMPS.
PHONE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE "FUDGEMUFFIN", ORIGINAL MGBEKE'S SWEAR WORD.LOL
SEX WITH ANIMALS(DOGS). DOES THAT REALLY HAPPEN????????????????, PLEASE GET A TOY.
UHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, IF YOU KNOW MORE THAN THESE I HAVE LISTED, PLEASE "MAKE ME SMILE" WITH THEM.
A GUY I USED TO KNOW ONCE TOLD ME THAT THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF A HARD DICK IS 9CM.
MHHHHHHH.
P.S, IF U HAVE EVER USED A MEASURING TAPE, LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!! LOL.
FOR THE FIRST TIME, I GOT A REAL SHORT HAIR DO. PIX WILL BE UP SOON.
HAPPY NEW MONTH Y'ALL.
LAST FRIDAY, WHILE I WAS IN THE SALOON GETTING MY HAIR DONE, I LISTENED CAREFULLY AS SOME GIRLS DISCUSSED THEIR APPETITE FOR SEX, AND ALL THE CRAP THAT FILTERED THROUGH MY INNOCENT EARS( LOL). AND I COULDN'T HELP BUT TRY TO CATEGORIZE "SEX" BY ME. AND THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT IS SEX???????????????????????
SEX WHEN IN LOVE, CAN BE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING.( YOU CAN TESTIFY "WINK WINK")LOL
SEX WITHOUT ANY ATOM OF LIKENESS OR LOVE IS "JUST A WAR WITH THE GENITALS"
SEX FOR MONEY, WE ALL KNOW THE KOKO!!!!!!!!!!PROSTITUTION.
SAME SEX (GAY/LESBIANISM), SIMPLY DISGUSTING.
SELF HELP( MASTURBATION), HIGHLY BORING. WITH FINGER CRAMPS.
PHONE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE "FUDGEMUFFIN", ORIGINAL MGBEKE'S SWEAR WORD.LOL
SEX WITH ANIMALS(DOGS). DOES THAT REALLY HAPPEN????????????????, PLEASE GET A TOY.
UHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, IF YOU KNOW MORE THAN THESE I HAVE LISTED, PLEASE "MAKE ME SMILE" WITH THEM.
A GUY I USED TO KNOW ONCE TOLD ME THAT THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF A HARD DICK IS 9CM.
MHHHHHHH.
P.S, IF U HAVE EVER USED A MEASURING TAPE, LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!! LOL.
FOR THE FIRST TIME, I GOT A REAL SHORT HAIR DO. PIX WILL BE UP SOON.
HAPPY NEW MONTH Y'ALL.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I DON FALL MY HAND
HAVE U EVER FELT WHITE FACED AND WISHED THAT THE GROUND COULD JUST SWALLOW U UP?
THAT WAS ME,WITH THE GYNAECOLOGIST. DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DID I EVEN GO THERE? SERIOUSLY, I DID FALL MY HAND.
I LAY FLAT ON MY BACK WITH MY LEGS PROPPED UP ON HIS EXAMINING TABLE, MY MIND A MILLION MILES AWAY AND WISHING I COULD JUST BE SEDATED ONLY TO WAKE UP ON MY OWN BED.
READY AND STEADY NOW, HIS SLENDER MASCULINE FINGERS NOW MASKED IN GLOVES TWITCHED AS HE WAS READY TO WORK. AND SUDDENLY HE DISAPPEARS TO THE DEPTH BELOW. AT THIS POINT, MY DEAR PEOPLE OF BLOGSVILLE, I CLAMMED UP.
DOC: RELAX
ME: OK.
AS MUCH AS I TRIED,I COULDN'T. ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT HE WAS PEEPING LET ALONE THE POKING.
DOC: RELAX
ME: OK
STILL NOT WORKING. THE DOC GETTING IMPATIENT WITH ME, GOES AGAIN
DOC: RELAX
ME: OK, I'M NOT SURE I CAN GO TRU WITH THIS.
KAI, BUT I'VE COME THIS FAR.........
WELL SHA, I RESIGNED MYSELF TO FATE. I SHUT MY MIND OUT AND LET HIM GET TO WORK.
I COME FALL MY HAND WHEN I LET OUT A MOAN. WAS THE GUY WORKING OR GIVING ME SOME . . . . . .? IHE NKEA SEF?(THIS KAIN THING). I JUST COULDN'T WAIT TO GET LOST FROM THAT PLACE.
NA CURIOUSTY KILL THIS CAT(ME).MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
THAT WAS ME,WITH THE GYNAECOLOGIST. DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DID I EVEN GO THERE? SERIOUSLY, I DID FALL MY HAND.
I LAY FLAT ON MY BACK WITH MY LEGS PROPPED UP ON HIS EXAMINING TABLE, MY MIND A MILLION MILES AWAY AND WISHING I COULD JUST BE SEDATED ONLY TO WAKE UP ON MY OWN BED.
READY AND STEADY NOW, HIS SLENDER MASCULINE FINGERS NOW MASKED IN GLOVES TWITCHED AS HE WAS READY TO WORK. AND SUDDENLY HE DISAPPEARS TO THE DEPTH BELOW. AT THIS POINT, MY DEAR PEOPLE OF BLOGSVILLE, I CLAMMED UP.
DOC: RELAX
ME: OK.
AS MUCH AS I TRIED,I COULDN'T. ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT HE WAS PEEPING LET ALONE THE POKING.
DOC: RELAX
ME: OK
STILL NOT WORKING. THE DOC GETTING IMPATIENT WITH ME, GOES AGAIN
DOC: RELAX
ME: OK, I'M NOT SURE I CAN GO TRU WITH THIS.
KAI, BUT I'VE COME THIS FAR.........
WELL SHA, I RESIGNED MYSELF TO FATE. I SHUT MY MIND OUT AND LET HIM GET TO WORK.
I COME FALL MY HAND WHEN I LET OUT A MOAN. WAS THE GUY WORKING OR GIVING ME SOME . . . . . .? IHE NKEA SEF?(THIS KAIN THING). I JUST COULDN'T WAIT TO GET LOST FROM THAT PLACE.
NA CURIOUSTY KILL THIS CAT(ME).MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
FOR THE MUSE
I JUST COULDN’T HELP THE THOUGHTS TODAY.
THE MUSE I LOVED AND CHERISH EACH DAY.
HE BROUGHT ME SMILES ON THIS FACE I FROWNED.
I’M STILL ALL SMILES, WITH EACH NEW LINE.
THE TIMES WE HAD, WAS NOT ALL BAD.
THE BAD WE FOUGHT, I LEARNT A LOT.
THE LOT I LEARNED HELPED SHAPE MY MIND.
BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, YOU CUT ME COLD.
I FOUGHT TO BE, AND NOW I’M GROWN.
I FEAR NO MORE, MY TEARS ALL GONE.
I BEAM WITH SMILES, AND I KNOW U WAS RIGHT.
YOU HAD TO LEAVE, AND NO MORE LIES.
With just a few days before i move, i decided to check in with my cardiologist cuz i've been having some palpitations. here's our conversation:
DOC: HOW HAVE U BEEN?
ME: GOOD, XCEPT FOR SOME SKIPPING HEARTBEAT.
D: OK.ARE U TENSED WHEN IT HAPPENS?
M: I DUNNO. JUST FEEL LIGHTHEADED.
D:ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT ANYTHING?
M:NOPE.(DATS A LIE).
D: ARE U ON UR PERIOD?
M: NOPE
D: WHEN IS IT DUE?
M:SOME DAYS AGO.
D: wit a raised eye brow///// WHEN LAST DID YOU HAVE SEX?
M: ???????????????????
D: D'U HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
M:?????????????????????????
D: TAKE OFF UR SHIRT AND BRA SO I CAN LISTEN TO UR CHEST.
AT THIS POINT, MY PALPITATIONS CAME BACK. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS WEN I HAVE TO SHOW MY BOOBIES.
NEWAYS AFTER THE CHECK, I WAS SENT FOR AN ECG.and it came back clear.
D:WHAT ARE YOU MOST SCARED OF?
M: BEING ALONE.
So he tried to psyche me, and yeah he did a mighty good job.
D: YOU ARE JUST A LIVING ANXIETY BOX.
M: LIKE I DIN'T KNOW.
HE TALKED ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MY EVER ANXIOUS STATE, AND MY NEED TO RELAX MY MIND. AND AS FOR MY FEAR, I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT ESPECIALLY NOW THAT I'M GOING AWAY.
M: OK.
D: SORRY, BUT PERMIT ME TO ASK!!!! Y DON'T YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
M: TAKING A BREAK FROM THERE.
D: THAT CAN HELP, U KNOW?
M: OK. THANK YOU SIR, AND I TAKE MY LEAVE.
DO YOU KNOW THAT ANXIETY CAN HOLD BACK YOUR PERIOD i.e IF U ARE SURE U ARE NOT PREGGY???? I LEARNT A LOT FROM THAT SESSION.
IF I HAD THOT SHOWING MY BOOBIES WAS SUCH A BIG DEAL, HERE COMES THE GYNAECOLOGIST( BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE).
THE LIFE OF MALE DOCTORS.
THE MUSE I LOVED AND CHERISH EACH DAY.
HE BROUGHT ME SMILES ON THIS FACE I FROWNED.
I’M STILL ALL SMILES, WITH EACH NEW LINE.
THE TIMES WE HAD, WAS NOT ALL BAD.
THE BAD WE FOUGHT, I LEARNT A LOT.
THE LOT I LEARNED HELPED SHAPE MY MIND.
BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, YOU CUT ME COLD.
I FOUGHT TO BE, AND NOW I’M GROWN.
I FEAR NO MORE, MY TEARS ALL GONE.
I BEAM WITH SMILES, AND I KNOW U WAS RIGHT.
YOU HAD TO LEAVE, AND NO MORE LIES.
With just a few days before i move, i decided to check in with my cardiologist cuz i've been having some palpitations. here's our conversation:
DOC: HOW HAVE U BEEN?
ME: GOOD, XCEPT FOR SOME SKIPPING HEARTBEAT.
D: OK.ARE U TENSED WHEN IT HAPPENS?
M: I DUNNO. JUST FEEL LIGHTHEADED.
D:ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT ANYTHING?
M:NOPE.(DATS A LIE).
D: ARE U ON UR PERIOD?
M: NOPE
D: WHEN IS IT DUE?
M:SOME DAYS AGO.
D: wit a raised eye brow///// WHEN LAST DID YOU HAVE SEX?
M: ???????????????????
D: D'U HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
M:?????????????????????????
D: TAKE OFF UR SHIRT AND BRA SO I CAN LISTEN TO UR CHEST.
AT THIS POINT, MY PALPITATIONS CAME BACK. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS WEN I HAVE TO SHOW MY BOOBIES.
NEWAYS AFTER THE CHECK, I WAS SENT FOR AN ECG.and it came back clear.
D:WHAT ARE YOU MOST SCARED OF?
M: BEING ALONE.
So he tried to psyche me, and yeah he did a mighty good job.
D: YOU ARE JUST A LIVING ANXIETY BOX.
M: LIKE I DIN'T KNOW.
HE TALKED ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MY EVER ANXIOUS STATE, AND MY NEED TO RELAX MY MIND. AND AS FOR MY FEAR, I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT ESPECIALLY NOW THAT I'M GOING AWAY.
M: OK.
D: SORRY, BUT PERMIT ME TO ASK!!!! Y DON'T YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
M: TAKING A BREAK FROM THERE.
D: THAT CAN HELP, U KNOW?
M: OK. THANK YOU SIR, AND I TAKE MY LEAVE.
DO YOU KNOW THAT ANXIETY CAN HOLD BACK YOUR PERIOD i.e IF U ARE SURE U ARE NOT PREGGY???? I LEARNT A LOT FROM THAT SESSION.
IF I HAD THOT SHOWING MY BOOBIES WAS SUCH A BIG DEAL, HERE COMES THE GYNAECOLOGIST( BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE).
THE LIFE OF MALE DOCTORS.
Friday, November 20, 2009
JUST A POEM.
Thru the dessert plains of my loveless life.
To the dusty plains of my over reactive imagination.
I'm borne on the wings of beautiful Verses.
Of how bitter sweet some memories can be.
From the dusk of my long endless days.
To the dawn of this beautiful new me.
I'm borne on the wings of more beautiful Verses.
Of how Sweet,Love can truly be.
I'm on a high, served with love on a silver platter.
I strut now, on the Golden Threads of our Love.
Carefully woven into thin fabrics of words.
I'm borne on the wings of more beautiful Verses.
Each, an expression of my true character, JUST IN LOVE.
Gone are my old ideas of Love..
Fresh with this new break of dawn.
I'm borne on the wings of the most beautiful Verses.
BITTER SWEET MEMORIES DISPLACED,.... EVERGREEN MEMORIES,... ,I LIVE ON.
i like my lil poem. kinda the best i've pened down recently.
neways, babysitting just makes you feel guilty when you have to leave those sweet little things behind.
So i couldn't leave afterall nor could i let my mum go on an emergency leave. so i stayed behind......... U SEE....I'M NICE. YEAH DAT NICE. WATEVA.
SOME MONTHS AGO, I TOOK AN EXAMINATION I NEVER THOT I'LD PASS. U KNOW THAT FEELING OF "THIS AINT RIGHT". SO SOME WEEKS TO THE EXAM, I CALLED HOME WITH THE EXCUSE OF SKIPPING THE EXAM... BLA BLA BLA(MORE LIKE XCUSE FOR FAILING AN EXAM I HADN'T WRITTEN). SO I GOT ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT AND SAT FOR THE EXAM I NEVER DID PREPARE MUCH FOR.
SOME DAYS AGO, I CHECKED THE RESULT AND I PASSED.............YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I PASSED THE EXAM. CONGRATULATIONSSSSS..... IF NO BE GOD............ I LOVE HIM SO.
HE'S KNOWS HOW TO PERFECT THINGS FOR HIS OWN.
FOR SOME REASONS I'M GLAD I DIDN'T TAKE MY SUPPOSED TRIP THIS WEEKEND.SO TO MY TRIPLE DELIGHT, MY GRAND AUNT FIXED MY ACCOMODATION PROBLEMS FOR ANOTHER LOCATION( OH, I LOVE HER SO), I GET AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE USAID AND UNDP OFFICE, AND MY CHANCE TO LIVE ALL BY MYSELF AGAIN. DON'T I JUST LOVE GOD.
HAPPY WEEKEND TO ALL MY PEEPS LIVING THEIR DREAM.
To the dusty plains of my over reactive imagination.
I'm borne on the wings of beautiful Verses.
Of how bitter sweet some memories can be.
From the dusk of my long endless days.
To the dawn of this beautiful new me.
I'm borne on the wings of more beautiful Verses.
Of how Sweet,Love can truly be.
I'm on a high, served with love on a silver platter.
I strut now, on the Golden Threads of our Love.
Carefully woven into thin fabrics of words.
I'm borne on the wings of more beautiful Verses.
Each, an expression of my true character, JUST IN LOVE.
Gone are my old ideas of Love..
Fresh with this new break of dawn.
I'm borne on the wings of the most beautiful Verses.
BITTER SWEET MEMORIES DISPLACED,.... EVERGREEN MEMORIES,... ,I LIVE ON.
i like my lil poem. kinda the best i've pened down recently.
neways, babysitting just makes you feel guilty when you have to leave those sweet little things behind.
So i couldn't leave afterall nor could i let my mum go on an emergency leave. so i stayed behind......... U SEE....I'M NICE. YEAH DAT NICE. WATEVA.
SOME MONTHS AGO, I TOOK AN EXAMINATION I NEVER THOT I'LD PASS. U KNOW THAT FEELING OF "THIS AINT RIGHT". SO SOME WEEKS TO THE EXAM, I CALLED HOME WITH THE EXCUSE OF SKIPPING THE EXAM... BLA BLA BLA(MORE LIKE XCUSE FOR FAILING AN EXAM I HADN'T WRITTEN). SO I GOT ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT AND SAT FOR THE EXAM I NEVER DID PREPARE MUCH FOR.
SOME DAYS AGO, I CHECKED THE RESULT AND I PASSED.............YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I PASSED THE EXAM. CONGRATULATIONSSSSS..... IF NO BE GOD............ I LOVE HIM SO.
HE'S KNOWS HOW TO PERFECT THINGS FOR HIS OWN.
FOR SOME REASONS I'M GLAD I DIDN'T TAKE MY SUPPOSED TRIP THIS WEEKEND.SO TO MY TRIPLE DELIGHT, MY GRAND AUNT FIXED MY ACCOMODATION PROBLEMS FOR ANOTHER LOCATION( OH, I LOVE HER SO), I GET AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE USAID AND UNDP OFFICE, AND MY CHANCE TO LIVE ALL BY MYSELF AGAIN. DON'T I JUST LOVE GOD.
HAPPY WEEKEND TO ALL MY PEEPS LIVING THEIR DREAM.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A LIL RANT.
Now i know that being a mum aint a fancy job afterall.
here's my story and the reason i haven't been here or anywhere in a while.........
I am a very nice girl, that explains why i'm putting 3 weeks of my precious time on hold to become a full time mother of 3.
to forefeit my lessonns(french and spanish), getting away from home a whyle to my new environ and personal project. U see, i'm that nice to do away with all these to be helpful to YOU and yet u don't appreciate.
I hate to half way tru with wot i've started if not, i wuld ave just abandoned these kids without a wink and live my life.
I am ranting here cuz my sis since her being around seems to be suffering from partial memory loss(i'm sorry if u read this sis). she's started to piss me off wif all her complaints.(i'm allergic to this, don't want mosquitoe bites on the kids) all her oohs and aahs are just irritating me. have you 4 gotten how we lived thru these bites AND NO ALLERGIES and nufn happened? abeg jo enof is enof.
wakey wakey, u r back home so please fine tune ur FEELERS to recieve naija how u left it or even worse.
I'M A WEEK PLUS INTO MY JOB AS A FULL TIME MUM as my sis is away in Niger state for her NYSC. TO make my job lighter, wen she left, my folks decided to move the kids over to our house which is not a distance to diers. YEAH, HELL BROKE LOOSE WHEN SHE LEARNT THAT HER SON GOT BITES(MOSQUITOES) AND she rants of how uncaring i've been. please do u expect me to celotape the boys whole body???????
SO FINALLY,SHE AND HUBBY DECIDES TO MOVE THE KIDS BACK TO THEIR HOME, THERBY DOUBLING MY JOB CUZ AT HOME GOT AN XTRA HAND WITH MY MUM.
I FRANKLY DO NOT LIKE THIS.............. BUT I'M NICE AND THAT SAYS IT ALL.
I'm quitting this job next week that means mum has to go on LEAVE to take over. i've got somethings to pursue and seriously, no looking back.
HERE'S A LIL WATEVA I PENED DOWM SOME DAYS AGO...................
EFFORTLESSLY I HEED THE CALL.
EVEN THE MONSTER IN ME COULDN'T WAIT TO EXPLODE.
WITHOUT A TINY BIT OF GUILT IN ME,
I'M ON RAGE AS MY SADNESS DEEPENS.
WHO DO I FIGHT FOR THING NOT DONE RIGHT?
WHO DO I SLAY FOR THE HALF TRUTH TOLD?
WHERE LIES MY STRENGTH????????
IN MY FIST OR MY GUN?
IN MY BOW OR ITS SLENDER ARROW??
IN MY SLING OR MY SHOT???
I HAVE NO POWER OF MY OWN.
FOR I WAS NOT BORN WITH A HEART OF STONE.
SO, GONE IS THE WAR THAT BEGAN IN ME,
AND BACK IS THE PEACE THAT LIES WITHIN.
I AM A LOVER OF PEACE AND A HATER OF WAR.
I AM AT EASE WHEN MY WORLD IS AT PEACE.
here's my story and the reason i haven't been here or anywhere in a while.........
I am a very nice girl, that explains why i'm putting 3 weeks of my precious time on hold to become a full time mother of 3.
to forefeit my lessonns(french and spanish), getting away from home a whyle to my new environ and personal project. U see, i'm that nice to do away with all these to be helpful to YOU and yet u don't appreciate.
I hate to half way tru with wot i've started if not, i wuld ave just abandoned these kids without a wink and live my life.
I am ranting here cuz my sis since her being around seems to be suffering from partial memory loss(i'm sorry if u read this sis). she's started to piss me off wif all her complaints.(i'm allergic to this, don't want mosquitoe bites on the kids) all her oohs and aahs are just irritating me. have you 4 gotten how we lived thru these bites AND NO ALLERGIES and nufn happened? abeg jo enof is enof.
wakey wakey, u r back home so please fine tune ur FEELERS to recieve naija how u left it or even worse.
I'M A WEEK PLUS INTO MY JOB AS A FULL TIME MUM as my sis is away in Niger state for her NYSC. TO make my job lighter, wen she left, my folks decided to move the kids over to our house which is not a distance to diers. YEAH, HELL BROKE LOOSE WHEN SHE LEARNT THAT HER SON GOT BITES(MOSQUITOES) AND she rants of how uncaring i've been. please do u expect me to celotape the boys whole body???????
SO FINALLY,SHE AND HUBBY DECIDES TO MOVE THE KIDS BACK TO THEIR HOME, THERBY DOUBLING MY JOB CUZ AT HOME GOT AN XTRA HAND WITH MY MUM.
I FRANKLY DO NOT LIKE THIS.............. BUT I'M NICE AND THAT SAYS IT ALL.
I'm quitting this job next week that means mum has to go on LEAVE to take over. i've got somethings to pursue and seriously, no looking back.
HERE'S A LIL WATEVA I PENED DOWM SOME DAYS AGO...................
EFFORTLESSLY I HEED THE CALL.
EVEN THE MONSTER IN ME COULDN'T WAIT TO EXPLODE.
WITHOUT A TINY BIT OF GUILT IN ME,
I'M ON RAGE AS MY SADNESS DEEPENS.
WHO DO I FIGHT FOR THING NOT DONE RIGHT?
WHO DO I SLAY FOR THE HALF TRUTH TOLD?
WHERE LIES MY STRENGTH????????
IN MY FIST OR MY GUN?
IN MY BOW OR ITS SLENDER ARROW??
IN MY SLING OR MY SHOT???
I HAVE NO POWER OF MY OWN.
FOR I WAS NOT BORN WITH A HEART OF STONE.
SO, GONE IS THE WAR THAT BEGAN IN ME,
AND BACK IS THE PEACE THAT LIES WITHIN.
I AM A LOVER OF PEACE AND A HATER OF WAR.
I AM AT EASE WHEN MY WORLD IS AT PEACE.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
6/11/09 (5pm)
I am born today,
and could live a hundred years.
I am born today,
and could die a million deaths.
I am born,for reasons yet to unfold.
I won't leave,without a story untold.
Though life may be bitter sweet,
with these adventures i seek.
I rest not with ease,
but let my mind wander in peace.
I speak not of things i'v seen.
For the answers lie deep within my sleep.
I am a child,born into this world of sin.
I am my father's child, yet for the world to see.
and could live a hundred years.
I am born today,
and could die a million deaths.
I am born,for reasons yet to unfold.
I won't leave,without a story untold.
Though life may be bitter sweet,
with these adventures i seek.
I rest not with ease,
but let my mind wander in peace.
I speak not of things i'v seen.
For the answers lie deep within my sleep.
I am a child,born into this world of sin.
I am my father's child, yet for the world to see.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
MY SOUND OF MUSIC
I was 16 going on 17,knowing that i'm naive.
Fellows i meet, they tell me i'm sweet and willingly i believe.
I was 16 going on 17, Innocent as a Rose. Eager young lads and roués and cads, Offered me FOOD AND WINE.
Totally Unprepared i was,to face the world of MEN.
Timid and shy and scared i was, of things beyond my KEN.
When u're 16 going on 17, waiting for life to start. Somebody kind who touches your mind,will suddenly touch your heart.
When that happens,AFfter it happens, nothing is quite the same.
SO, ADVENTURE BECKONED, AND FOOLISHLY, I COULDN'T RESIST.
I fell in LUST or INFATUATION bt certainly not LOVE. Wot did i know then? Couldn't tell them apart.
A foolish girl with romantic notions about thd life of an eager teenager waiting to explode.
My LUST was passionate. But over the months, my feelings changed.
HE DISSAPPOINTED ME. IGNORED ME.
We settled into a relatiönship of peaceful indifference. The old husband & wife,who sit side by side on the Sofa, but rarely speak.
He knows i wouldn't leave him.
I felt it was my duty.
But when LUST & Duty are one, Then DISASTER WILL BEFALL YOU.
YOU MAY THINK THIS KINDA ADVENTURE, MAY NEVER COME TO YOU.
Darling 16's going on 17, WAIT A YEAR OR TWO.
Nothing comes from Nothing.
Nothing ever Could.
So, Somewhere in your YOUTH OR CHILDHOOD, TRY TO DO ,SOMETHING GOOD.
Hapi wkend y'all.
Fellows i meet, they tell me i'm sweet and willingly i believe.
I was 16 going on 17, Innocent as a Rose. Eager young lads and roués and cads, Offered me FOOD AND WINE.
Totally Unprepared i was,to face the world of MEN.
Timid and shy and scared i was, of things beyond my KEN.
When u're 16 going on 17, waiting for life to start. Somebody kind who touches your mind,will suddenly touch your heart.
When that happens,AFfter it happens, nothing is quite the same.
SO, ADVENTURE BECKONED, AND FOOLISHLY, I COULDN'T RESIST.
I fell in LUST or INFATUATION bt certainly not LOVE. Wot did i know then? Couldn't tell them apart.
A foolish girl with romantic notions about thd life of an eager teenager waiting to explode.
My LUST was passionate. But over the months, my feelings changed.
HE DISSAPPOINTED ME. IGNORED ME.
We settled into a relatiönship of peaceful indifference. The old husband & wife,who sit side by side on the Sofa, but rarely speak.
He knows i wouldn't leave him.
I felt it was my duty.
But when LUST & Duty are one, Then DISASTER WILL BEFALL YOU.
YOU MAY THINK THIS KINDA ADVENTURE, MAY NEVER COME TO YOU.
Darling 16's going on 17, WAIT A YEAR OR TWO.
Nothing comes from Nothing.
Nothing ever Could.
So, Somewhere in your YOUTH OR CHILDHOOD, TRY TO DO ,SOMETHING GOOD.
Hapi wkend y'all.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
MY NIECE,OUR DOG &HER ALPHABETS.
In my day's spare time,i tutor my lil niece SALMONELLA(one of her numerous names,from the movie "HAPILY NEVA AFTA"). GREENADE(FROM HER ALLERGY TO PEANUTS). YAATT(FROM HER SUPRISE WEN NEPA FLASHES THE LIGHT)& of course SCARAABB(FROM HER FIRST PERIWINKLE XPERIENCE). This lil 3year old,loves bullying everyone bt hates being bullied&neva a day witout COOKIES.
In my father's house,dere's the most rubbish dog we've ever had. He's called ROVER. To him,he's just the last child of the house&my father does treat him as one. He does nutin but eat,watch tv,play&sleep. Once,there had been a gunshot in our house,he was the first to dock behind the chair. A DOG INDEED.
In our tutorial class,we've gone tru the ALPHABET CD'S Severally. Identification of shapes,animals&colours. Her major problem is,she can't hold a pencil.
Today,we were set out to impress her parents,alongside her grandparents. So here we go!!
A is for APPLE.
B is for BALL.
C is for COOKIE.&
D is for ROVER.
Evrione burst out laughing.
Of course she wasn't wrong. SHE'S JUST SMART or Wot d'u think?
I still get paid for doing my job.
In my father's house,dere's the most rubbish dog we've ever had. He's called ROVER. To him,he's just the last child of the house&my father does treat him as one. He does nutin but eat,watch tv,play&sleep. Once,there had been a gunshot in our house,he was the first to dock behind the chair. A DOG INDEED.
In our tutorial class,we've gone tru the ALPHABET CD'S Severally. Identification of shapes,animals&colours. Her major problem is,she can't hold a pencil.
Today,we were set out to impress her parents,alongside her grandparents. So here we go!!
A is for APPLE.
B is for BALL.
C is for COOKIE.&
D is for ROVER.
Evrione burst out laughing.
Of course she wasn't wrong. SHE'S JUST SMART or Wot d'u think?
I still get paid for doing my job.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
THIS AND THAT.
hi people been a whyle i've been here.
So at the wedding, from my last post, i decided to take part. Dunno wot happend,maybe some kinda magic in the LITTLE WHITE DRESS that helped me overcome my AGORA PHOBIA.
It came with the music "ALL THE SINGLE LADIES". TO HAVE MYSELF SOME FUN, I JUMPED TO THE CENTRE OF THE HALL DANCING(I REALLY DNT KNOW HOW TO)AND THEN TIME FOR THE BRIDE TO THROW HER BOUQUET. SO PATIENTLY I WAITED AND BINGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I CAUGHT IT. THIS meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. hehehehehehehehhehehe.
wateva, the wedding went well for me xcept for the fact that CRAZY tried to hook me up with her TENTACLES from th night before. Of course i had to keep my NOT INTERESTED LOOK IN PLACE. MCHEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
TODAY GOT ME THINKING ON THE WRONG SIDE. LIKE..............
WHICH WAY AM I HEADED?
WHERE DO I GO?
WHO DO I RUN TO?
I'm most confused right now and all i can do is let the tears down.
LIFE right now....... i don't have the best opinion abt it. Everything seems hard. like struggle day and night for nothing at all.
I HATE THE QUESTION WHY?? BUT NOW I'M ASKING, WHY???
WHY ARE THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE?
WHY DO WE HAVE TO FIGHT TO SURVIVE?
WHY DO WE STRUGGLE EVERYDAY WITH NOTHING IN SIGHT TO SHOW FOR IT??
WHY IS LIFE SOMETIMES BLANK???
WHO can answer these questions without petting it????
I'm in a bad place now and even I, don't understand it. i've lost that self confidence.... cuz nothing seems to be working around mee.
LIFE SEEMS NOT RIGHT. MY FAMILY, NO GOOD FRIENDS, NO JOB.... INFACT EVERYTHING.
SO I CRIED MYSELF TO UNCONSCIOUSNESS. I AM DEPRESSED.
LIFE'S AN IRONY. It has stung me, i hurt but still smile cuz in THE HIDDEN PART OF MY BROKEN SOUL, I SEE A TINY SPARK THAT SAYS "HOLD ON, CUZ IT'S YET MORNING ON CREATION DAY".
SO HERE'S ANOTHER WHY QUESTION.
WHY DO PEOPLE SETTLE FOR THE ALTERNATIVE, WHEN TIME CAN PERFECT THE BEST???
U SEE, FEAR OF BEING ALONE, MAKES HASTY DECISIONS AND RESULTS TO ISSUES.
ISSUES THAT MIGHT SCAR AND HAUNT YOU FOR A LONG TIME. AND DOOM IF NOT CONTROLLED. HAVEN'T SEEN THE DOOM PART MYSELF BUT YEAH,.......... WATCHED A CONTROVERSY, OR IS IT STILL PLAYING??????????
1) HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS AND SHE TOO. BUT WENEVA SHE'S IN TOWN, SORRY FOR THOSE THEY LEFT BEHIND,CUZ THE SPARK'S STILL THERE AND YES THEY CHEAT ON THEIR SPOUSES EMOTIONALLY.
2) SHE'S WELL ABOVE 50, AND HE 60 +. HER HUSBAND'S LATE, DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIS WIFE.
YOU KNOW WOT???? THE AGE DOESN'T MATTER. THEY SPEND COUNTLESS MINUTES ON THE PHONE, REMINISCING ABOUT OLD TIMES, WOT WAS, WOT COULD HAVE BEEN AND NOW.
LOVE OR LUST, KNOWS NO AGE. IT CATCHES UP WITH YOU.
OK,FUNNY, THE FIRST SHE, IS THE DAUGHTER OF THE SECOND SHE. YOU MAY THINK "LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER", BUT U SEE, LIFE IS JUST IRONIC. THE GRAND CHILD IS ON THE SAME MISSION.
I JUST LOVE THIS DRAMA.
NOW
THAT BRINGS ME TO MY AGONY, "MARRIAGE". YOU SEE, I LOVE WEDDINGS, BUT I KINDA NOT LIKE THAT PART IN CHURCH WEN THE VOWS ARE EXCHANGED.
NOW WHY???????????????
DO U TAKE . . . . . . TO BE UR LAWFUL WEDDED SPOUSE?? TO LOVE AND TO HOLD? FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, FOR BETTER FOR WORSE? FOR RICHER,FOR POORER? IN SICKNESS, AND IN HEALTH??? TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH?? UNTIL WE ARE PARTED BY DEATH, ACCORDING TO GOD'S HOLY LAW??? THIS IS MY SOLEMN VOW.
SOMEONE MURDERED TRUTH. WHAT HAPPENED TO NEVER MAKE PROMISES U CAN'T KEEP.
SO FOR EVERY ONE OF MY FRIENDS, GOING JELLY JOLLY OVER GETTING MARRIED, .............. SURELY, MY BEST WISHES.
UNTIL I CAN DEAL WITH O'LEVEL RELATIONSHIPS, THEN WILL MY JOURNEY COMMENCE.
FOR NOW, I'LL JUST BE A SPECTATOR.
So at the wedding, from my last post, i decided to take part. Dunno wot happend,maybe some kinda magic in the LITTLE WHITE DRESS that helped me overcome my AGORA PHOBIA.
It came with the music "ALL THE SINGLE LADIES". TO HAVE MYSELF SOME FUN, I JUMPED TO THE CENTRE OF THE HALL DANCING(I REALLY DNT KNOW HOW TO)AND THEN TIME FOR THE BRIDE TO THROW HER BOUQUET. SO PATIENTLY I WAITED AND BINGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I CAUGHT IT. THIS meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. hehehehehehehehhehehe.
wateva, the wedding went well for me xcept for the fact that CRAZY tried to hook me up with her TENTACLES from th night before. Of course i had to keep my NOT INTERESTED LOOK IN PLACE. MCHEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
TODAY GOT ME THINKING ON THE WRONG SIDE. LIKE..............
WHICH WAY AM I HEADED?
WHERE DO I GO?
WHO DO I RUN TO?
I'm most confused right now and all i can do is let the tears down.
LIFE right now....... i don't have the best opinion abt it. Everything seems hard. like struggle day and night for nothing at all.
I HATE THE QUESTION WHY?? BUT NOW I'M ASKING, WHY???
WHY ARE THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE?
WHY DO WE HAVE TO FIGHT TO SURVIVE?
WHY DO WE STRUGGLE EVERYDAY WITH NOTHING IN SIGHT TO SHOW FOR IT??
WHY IS LIFE SOMETIMES BLANK???
WHO can answer these questions without petting it????
I'm in a bad place now and even I, don't understand it. i've lost that self confidence.... cuz nothing seems to be working around mee.
LIFE SEEMS NOT RIGHT. MY FAMILY, NO GOOD FRIENDS, NO JOB.... INFACT EVERYTHING.
SO I CRIED MYSELF TO UNCONSCIOUSNESS. I AM DEPRESSED.
LIFE'S AN IRONY. It has stung me, i hurt but still smile cuz in THE HIDDEN PART OF MY BROKEN SOUL, I SEE A TINY SPARK THAT SAYS "HOLD ON, CUZ IT'S YET MORNING ON CREATION DAY".
SO HERE'S ANOTHER WHY QUESTION.
WHY DO PEOPLE SETTLE FOR THE ALTERNATIVE, WHEN TIME CAN PERFECT THE BEST???
U SEE, FEAR OF BEING ALONE, MAKES HASTY DECISIONS AND RESULTS TO ISSUES.
ISSUES THAT MIGHT SCAR AND HAUNT YOU FOR A LONG TIME. AND DOOM IF NOT CONTROLLED. HAVEN'T SEEN THE DOOM PART MYSELF BUT YEAH,.......... WATCHED A CONTROVERSY, OR IS IT STILL PLAYING??????????
1) HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS AND SHE TOO. BUT WENEVA SHE'S IN TOWN, SORRY FOR THOSE THEY LEFT BEHIND,CUZ THE SPARK'S STILL THERE AND YES THEY CHEAT ON THEIR SPOUSES EMOTIONALLY.
2) SHE'S WELL ABOVE 50, AND HE 60 +. HER HUSBAND'S LATE, DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIS WIFE.
YOU KNOW WOT???? THE AGE DOESN'T MATTER. THEY SPEND COUNTLESS MINUTES ON THE PHONE, REMINISCING ABOUT OLD TIMES, WOT WAS, WOT COULD HAVE BEEN AND NOW.
LOVE OR LUST, KNOWS NO AGE. IT CATCHES UP WITH YOU.
OK,FUNNY, THE FIRST SHE, IS THE DAUGHTER OF THE SECOND SHE. YOU MAY THINK "LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER", BUT U SEE, LIFE IS JUST IRONIC. THE GRAND CHILD IS ON THE SAME MISSION.
I JUST LOVE THIS DRAMA.
NOW
THAT BRINGS ME TO MY AGONY, "MARRIAGE". YOU SEE, I LOVE WEDDINGS, BUT I KINDA NOT LIKE THAT PART IN CHURCH WEN THE VOWS ARE EXCHANGED.
NOW WHY???????????????
DO U TAKE . . . . . . TO BE UR LAWFUL WEDDED SPOUSE?? TO LOVE AND TO HOLD? FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, FOR BETTER FOR WORSE? FOR RICHER,FOR POORER? IN SICKNESS, AND IN HEALTH??? TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH?? UNTIL WE ARE PARTED BY DEATH, ACCORDING TO GOD'S HOLY LAW??? THIS IS MY SOLEMN VOW.
SOMEONE MURDERED TRUTH. WHAT HAPPENED TO NEVER MAKE PROMISES U CAN'T KEEP.
SO FOR EVERY ONE OF MY FRIENDS, GOING JELLY JOLLY OVER GETTING MARRIED, .............. SURELY, MY BEST WISHES.
UNTIL I CAN DEAL WITH O'LEVEL RELATIONSHIPS, THEN WILL MY JOURNEY COMMENCE.
FOR NOW, I'LL JUST BE A SPECTATOR.
Friday, October 2, 2009
I AM UNBELIEVABLY..... ....
SKINNY. Yeah SKINNY, Yesterday confirmed so.
Wot do i do???
At the G's, theres a wedding planned for the weekend and of course, Miss skinny,needs a dress.
On my mini b.day shopping,in a clothe shop(my sister's wardrobe),nothing seems to fit xcept for the LITTLE WHITE DRESS dat led my mum to ask:
MUM: WOT'S THIS?
ME: A DRESS.:-(
MUM: SAYS WHO?
ME: DOLCE&GABANA.
Wot now mum?? this is the only thing that seem to fit.
Ok, CRAZY & I set out on this journey. D G's driver came 4 us. The journey just begun.
There's a formal dinner/party tonite. All dressd and out, all the food on the table seem to be in front of me like i had a "MAKE ME FAT" post hanging on my neck. Mcheewww. Dinner passed slowly then i got bored. Evri1 mingling two by two, now wots this Skinny lonley sister to do???
MR G and I fall into a conversation and that felt good. Half an hour later, he's gone and Skinny's alone again. Meanwhyl, CRAZY is busy doing wot she does best(embarasing me). Sumthing i'm missing or just not seeing!!!! *blink blink*. CRAZY knows the groom. I mean KNOWS. Dis gurl sef. Nuff rezpeckkkttt.
I'm a bit tired and wana just hit the sacks. Tomorrow's yet a continuation... ... ... ...
But people in BLOGviLLE, WOT CAN A SISTER DO TO GAIN SOME??
Don't name drugs cuz it din't work.
Wot do i do???
At the G's, theres a wedding planned for the weekend and of course, Miss skinny,needs a dress.
On my mini b.day shopping,in a clothe shop(my sister's wardrobe),nothing seems to fit xcept for the LITTLE WHITE DRESS dat led my mum to ask:
MUM: WOT'S THIS?
ME: A DRESS.:-(
MUM: SAYS WHO?
ME: DOLCE&GABANA.
Wot now mum?? this is the only thing that seem to fit.
Ok, CRAZY & I set out on this journey. D G's driver came 4 us. The journey just begun.
There's a formal dinner/party tonite. All dressd and out, all the food on the table seem to be in front of me like i had a "MAKE ME FAT" post hanging on my neck. Mcheewww. Dinner passed slowly then i got bored. Evri1 mingling two by two, now wots this Skinny lonley sister to do???
MR G and I fall into a conversation and that felt good. Half an hour later, he's gone and Skinny's alone again. Meanwhyl, CRAZY is busy doing wot she does best(embarasing me). Sumthing i'm missing or just not seeing!!!! *blink blink*. CRAZY knows the groom. I mean KNOWS. Dis gurl sef. Nuff rezpeckkkttt.
I'm a bit tired and wana just hit the sacks. Tomorrow's yet a continuation... ... ... ...
But people in BLOGviLLE, WOT CAN A SISTER DO TO GAIN SOME??
Don't name drugs cuz it din't work.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It struck me like the lightening(BOREDOM),and i pick my handbag with the excuse of going to pick some stuff... And zoom, i ran off to calabar yesterday. Oh, i'v missed you for a month plus.
In one night, I touched almost all the places i love the most&the people i wanted to see, cuz something tells me,THIS JOURNEY MIGHT BE CUT SHORT.
My aunt calls today, saying "I KNOW U'RE BORED, HENCE THE TRIP". Truth!!!, damn truth.
Then again, she says the sweetest thing ever.
AN ALL EXPENSE PAID TRIP WITH THE G.FAMILY. they're xpecting you.
DID I HEAR WELL???
THIS MITE JUST BE THE P-U-R-R-FECT B.DAY GIFT.
The G.FAMILY is made up of a blunt,funloving,funky father. A petit,quiet, but very insightful mother. Lovely grown up kids,male&female alike. And a host of exciting relations.
NOW, whether my pops likes it or not, My journey has just begun.
THEN AGAIN,i smell a RAT.
"CRAZY" heard about my trip,and now,it's the both of us.
CRAZY is my mad cousin whom i have nothing in common with,xcept for a bad nail bitting habit we got from our Great-grand mum. She leaves nothing but trouble where ever she goes. SHE'S SIMPLY CALLED "BAD NEWS". Evri1 knows. HOW CAN I HANDLE HER ON THIS???
I'l sure write about her after this trip.
Its my B.DAY tomorrow,and here's my line up:
DRESS CODE: (GREEN-WHITE-GREEN). SOME HOURS IN CHURCH. THE SALON. MINI SHOPPIN. And anything else that comes up.
FBI,Wants to hang out with me. FBI(FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR)&CRAZY, Are the worst COMBO amongst all my cousins. DISASTER COMBO.
A potential boyfriend material called a week b4 to announce his arrival, and...
ME: Cool. I'll be here.
Don't i just love my AUNT. Dude i'm sorry.
I'm not giving up this weekend trip for anything in the world.
My whole mind's on it.
I din't see it coming...
I'm God's delight.
I'm best alive.
I'm God's own child.
So broad i smile.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
:-) ;-).
In one night, I touched almost all the places i love the most&the people i wanted to see, cuz something tells me,THIS JOURNEY MIGHT BE CUT SHORT.
My aunt calls today, saying "I KNOW U'RE BORED, HENCE THE TRIP". Truth!!!, damn truth.
Then again, she says the sweetest thing ever.
AN ALL EXPENSE PAID TRIP WITH THE G.FAMILY. they're xpecting you.
DID I HEAR WELL???
THIS MITE JUST BE THE P-U-R-R-FECT B.DAY GIFT.
The G.FAMILY is made up of a blunt,funloving,funky father. A petit,quiet, but very insightful mother. Lovely grown up kids,male&female alike. And a host of exciting relations.
NOW, whether my pops likes it or not, My journey has just begun.
THEN AGAIN,i smell a RAT.
"CRAZY" heard about my trip,and now,it's the both of us.
CRAZY is my mad cousin whom i have nothing in common with,xcept for a bad nail bitting habit we got from our Great-grand mum. She leaves nothing but trouble where ever she goes. SHE'S SIMPLY CALLED "BAD NEWS". Evri1 knows. HOW CAN I HANDLE HER ON THIS???
I'l sure write about her after this trip.
Its my B.DAY tomorrow,and here's my line up:
DRESS CODE: (GREEN-WHITE-GREEN). SOME HOURS IN CHURCH. THE SALON. MINI SHOPPIN. And anything else that comes up.
FBI,Wants to hang out with me. FBI(FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR)&CRAZY, Are the worst COMBO amongst all my cousins. DISASTER COMBO.
A potential boyfriend material called a week b4 to announce his arrival, and...
ME: Cool. I'll be here.
Don't i just love my AUNT. Dude i'm sorry.
I'm not giving up this weekend trip for anything in the world.
My whole mind's on it.
I din't see it coming...
I'm God's delight.
I'm best alive.
I'm God's own child.
So broad i smile.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
:-) ;-).
Saturday, September 26, 2009
FAMILY!!! CAN U RUN FROM IT???
These are not the best times, to be in my FATHER'S HOUSE. Come to think of it, WHEN HAS???
Ok,yeah, i admit. There has been some good but.....
Dad's non-chalancy kips digging up old memories/scars i've been long tryna kill.*sobs*. MY HEART SIMPLY ACHES.
Thank goodness to some level of Understanding my siblings and I have. One day, THESE TIMES, will be 4eva past.
MUM&DAD,Maybe are not meant to be 2geda afterall. I'v always nutured this emotion since i was 5/6years of age.And i know,its true. BUT WATEVA BROUGHT THEM 2GEDA??? ARE THEY STILL 2GEDA BECUZ OF US??? Truth is,these 2 adults here,living under the same roof, have no RELATIONSHIP WHATSOÉVER and these days,more than ever b4,seem to get on each other's nerves.
MUM spends more time in CHURCH these days. And DAD,on a peace mission that leaves the FAMILY in DANGER. I tot family always came first or is mine from VENUS.
Wen i left home last year, i said i wasn't going back there. But as the saying goes, "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME". So i came back. Its been a month plus, but never a day without ISSUES.
I feel like i'm carrying a load thatz too heavy for me. I'v nowhere to go, so i'm down on my KNEES.
I read that portion of the Bible"MARK 11:23-24". Thrèe things struck me.
1)PRAY.
2)BELIEVE.
3)RECIEVE.
This is a trial of FAITH. GOD, let thy will be done.
In a couple of days(4days), i'l be +1,
+positive change, + new phase, + no going back, +over you, +MARY J(NO MORE DRAMA),Had enof for 2009. +1 new language(FRENCH OR SPANISH), +100% HENCE FORTH.
SO HELP ME GOD.
Ok,yeah, i admit. There has been some good but.....
Dad's non-chalancy kips digging up old memories/scars i've been long tryna kill.*sobs*. MY HEART SIMPLY ACHES.
Thank goodness to some level of Understanding my siblings and I have. One day, THESE TIMES, will be 4eva past.
MUM&DAD,Maybe are not meant to be 2geda afterall. I'v always nutured this emotion since i was 5/6years of age.And i know,its true. BUT WATEVA BROUGHT THEM 2GEDA??? ARE THEY STILL 2GEDA BECUZ OF US??? Truth is,these 2 adults here,living under the same roof, have no RELATIONSHIP WHATSOÉVER and these days,more than ever b4,seem to get on each other's nerves.
MUM spends more time in CHURCH these days. And DAD,on a peace mission that leaves the FAMILY in DANGER. I tot family always came first or is mine from VENUS.
Wen i left home last year, i said i wasn't going back there. But as the saying goes, "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME". So i came back. Its been a month plus, but never a day without ISSUES.
I feel like i'm carrying a load thatz too heavy for me. I'v nowhere to go, so i'm down on my KNEES.
I read that portion of the Bible"MARK 11:23-24". Thrèe things struck me.
1)PRAY.
2)BELIEVE.
3)RECIEVE.
This is a trial of FAITH. GOD, let thy will be done.
In a couple of days(4days), i'l be +1,
+positive change, + new phase, + no going back, +over you, +MARY J(NO MORE DRAMA),Had enof for 2009. +1 new language(FRENCH OR SPANISH), +100% HENCE FORTH.
SO HELP ME GOD.
Friday, September 18, 2009
WOULD YOU TELL A TOTAL STRANGER BECAUSE HE'S A "PRIEST"?
She couldn't stay, and off she ran to church... ... ... ...!!!!
CONFESSION:
SHE: Father 4gve me for i have sinned. *quiet**
PRIEST: Go On....
SHE: This is my first confession since i was... ... Um ehm em em em.
U know wot FATHER, i can't tell you anymore. I don't trust you.
Infact, you tell me! D'u fantasize abt the women in ur congregation????
I bet u'l neva tell that to a total STRANGER like me. So WHY do i ave to TRUST you with my WORDS.
So she carries her guilt and shame&weeps al the way HOME,Broken - Spirited.
NOBODY KNOWS YOUR SECRETS,UNTIL YOU SHARE THEM, ITS NO LONGER CALLED A SECRET BUT "SHARED KNOWLEDGE".
CONFESSION:
SHE: Father 4gve me for i have sinned. *quiet**
PRIEST: Go On....
SHE: This is my first confession since i was... ... Um ehm em em em.
U know wot FATHER, i can't tell you anymore. I don't trust you.
Infact, you tell me! D'u fantasize abt the women in ur congregation????
I bet u'l neva tell that to a total STRANGER like me. So WHY do i ave to TRUST you with my WORDS.
So she carries her guilt and shame&weeps al the way HOME,Broken - Spirited.
NOBODY KNOWS YOUR SECRETS,UNTIL YOU SHARE THEM, ITS NO LONGER CALLED A SECRET BUT "SHARED KNOWLEDGE".
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
JUST ANOTHER DAY.
Today, i felt like eating èvriting and at the same time NOTHING. Feels funny though. Dunno,jst don't know.
Had a DAYMARE this mid-morning but thanks to my phone for waking me up. I din't wanna see the end neways.
So,i feel like piercing my EAR again or my NOSE & Getting a HAIR CUT or CHANGING MY HAIR COLOUR. Wateva, just a new look.
Mum,please, would you stop complaining about everything and nothing. I'm kinda sick of these. I nid the same attention you seek OK.
And so,everybody misses "THE NOISE", Even the LAZY DOG. We play the songs he loves and cry out "GO WEB"... ... His famous SPIDER DANCE.
Its funny how i feel about THE NOISE being away. WHAT IF IT WERE MY OWN CHILD? Mhhhhhh. Just wöndering.
A former colleague calls me today,and reads a note on one of our numerous mischiefs,and i laughed my lungs out.
Back in those days, i Admit,mischief was my thing. Once made a video of my A.M,who had a habit of touching HIMSELF. That,would have cost me my job. Or that of my MANAGER... In an awkward position. Thanks to my photographic memory,it still plays in my head.
I miss working and can't wait to start again. I'm in dire need of a JOB. But evritin, jst seems to drag. Mscheeww. But i'm HOPEFUL.
Had a DAYMARE this mid-morning but thanks to my phone for waking me up. I din't wanna see the end neways.
So,i feel like piercing my EAR again or my NOSE & Getting a HAIR CUT or CHANGING MY HAIR COLOUR. Wateva, just a new look.
Mum,please, would you stop complaining about everything and nothing. I'm kinda sick of these. I nid the same attention you seek OK.
And so,everybody misses "THE NOISE", Even the LAZY DOG. We play the songs he loves and cry out "GO WEB"... ... His famous SPIDER DANCE.
Its funny how i feel about THE NOISE being away. WHAT IF IT WERE MY OWN CHILD? Mhhhhhh. Just wöndering.
A former colleague calls me today,and reads a note on one of our numerous mischiefs,and i laughed my lungs out.
Back in those days, i Admit,mischief was my thing. Once made a video of my A.M,who had a habit of touching HIMSELF. That,would have cost me my job. Or that of my MANAGER... In an awkward position. Thanks to my photographic memory,it still plays in my head.
I miss working and can't wait to start again. I'm in dire need of a JOB. But evritin, jst seems to drag. Mscheeww. But i'm HOPEFUL.
Monday, September 14, 2009
I'VE GOT A FRIEND......
Well, he could be my Father in my next world, but right here and now, more than anybody else... ... Except God, He knows me so Well.
He's my ANTI-DEPRESSANT.
And my MOOD ENHANCER.
He knows when it PINCHES.
And my LISTENING EAR.
Despite all my acts, he just smiles at me and says "BABY, U GOTA GROW". WISH I COULD, BUT I CAN'T KEEP PROTECTING YOU 4EVA.
LIVE LIFE.
WORRY LESS.
U'RE YOUNG,SMART AND GORGEOUS.
NOTHING IS WORTH DYING FOR.
And with dese words, i'm ready to face the world.
Ok, i'v known him for 4years now&i'm more than glad that he's there, to watch me GROW.
He watched me struggle with my first breakup,alongside family issues. Just wen i tot to give up on me,... ... ... HE SHOWED UP.
He always says, OPEN UR HEART TO LOVE ALWAYS. IN THIS BUSINESS, LEARN TO FASTEN UR SEATBELT.
Almst 2yrs after, i had the funniest Relatnshp eva. Dis dude, patiently prayed,for my breakup wif my first so i decided to play him 4 it.
For almost a year, all we did was Talk on the PHONE. And when he decides to show up in NIJA, I KNEW DAT WAS THE END. Cuz truth is, i neva wanted anyone close.
I WAS STILL EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE.
Jst as God wil have it,he gave me a good reason to JUSTIFY MY LEAVING.
WOT A RELIEF........
No love lost, cuz he moved on and we'r still friends. Thank gøodness.
And almost 2years after or yeah 2years(2009), i was ready to love again and ... ... ... ...
LOVE EXISTS. It hasn't just found you/u haven't found it, doesn't mean it's not dere.
Oops, my DAD just turned off my room light, a habit he has since i was a kid. LOVE??? I miss the tucking in part. Mcheewww.
These MOSQUITOES, Beta let me be or ,... We'r gonna tarry all nite cuz u ain't getin no juice off me.
SQUITOESSS STOP THE HYMN PLS.
He's my ANTI-DEPRESSANT.
And my MOOD ENHANCER.
He knows when it PINCHES.
And my LISTENING EAR.
Despite all my acts, he just smiles at me and says "BABY, U GOTA GROW". WISH I COULD, BUT I CAN'T KEEP PROTECTING YOU 4EVA.
LIVE LIFE.
WORRY LESS.
U'RE YOUNG,SMART AND GORGEOUS.
NOTHING IS WORTH DYING FOR.
And with dese words, i'm ready to face the world.
Ok, i'v known him for 4years now&i'm more than glad that he's there, to watch me GROW.
He watched me struggle with my first breakup,alongside family issues. Just wen i tot to give up on me,... ... ... HE SHOWED UP.
He always says, OPEN UR HEART TO LOVE ALWAYS. IN THIS BUSINESS, LEARN TO FASTEN UR SEATBELT.
Almst 2yrs after, i had the funniest Relatnshp eva. Dis dude, patiently prayed,for my breakup wif my first so i decided to play him 4 it.
For almost a year, all we did was Talk on the PHONE. And when he decides to show up in NIJA, I KNEW DAT WAS THE END. Cuz truth is, i neva wanted anyone close.
I WAS STILL EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE.
Jst as God wil have it,he gave me a good reason to JUSTIFY MY LEAVING.
WOT A RELIEF........
No love lost, cuz he moved on and we'r still friends. Thank gøodness.
And almost 2years after or yeah 2years(2009), i was ready to love again and ... ... ... ...
LOVE EXISTS. It hasn't just found you/u haven't found it, doesn't mean it's not dere.
Oops, my DAD just turned off my room light, a habit he has since i was a kid. LOVE??? I miss the tucking in part. Mcheewww.
These MOSQUITOES, Beta let me be or ,... We'r gonna tarry all nite cuz u ain't getin no juice off me.
SQUITOESSS STOP THE HYMN PLS.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
PERIODS, VOICELESS....
And so, i hate dat time in an ADULT WOMAN'S life wen u ave to bleed for days. I'v neva got a hang of it. It always drags me down and i hate it.
Funny thing, if it's not dere, U go outa ya mind looking for it. LOL.
I JUST HATE PERIODS. Bt fantasize about having sex when its dere.
MESSY MESSY THING.
I haven't been to church in... ... .,. ... Rily cnt remember the last time. i'm nt proud of it doh.
L8ly, i'v bn having erratic heart beats, skip skap skop STOP. It leaves me light headed and injuriously agressive. But FOCUSED i'l stay and LIVE I WILL.
I could DIE,
I could LIVE.
I could sink beneath this WAVE, But
My choice determines my STRENGTH.
But,if i DIE before i WAKE,
Weep not world for it's my FATE.
Look back and remember me for these THINGS....
I CAME, SMILED AT YOU,& I'M GONE.
But if i'm awake by DAWN,... ...
Hold my hands, SMILE YOUR BEST,....
Cuz i'm here for YOU.
Here,i am today, thinking of SWEET NOTHING. D house feels so quiet. D noise is gone. He left yesterday for school.
Well, "THE NOISE" is my last brother who always leaves us wondering wot he's got in his SMALL SKULL.
I bet i went to all the schools i did based on my parents decisions. I'v neva had a voice neways and sometimes even now.
So THE NOISE, takes his own decision and no one can change that. I bet my DAD finally met his MATCH.
My BOOBS HURT(bt dnt mind a massage).
I feel BLOATED.
I'm TOUCHY.
Fill like THROWING UP.
Bt my STOMACH,doesn't hurt. Thank Goodness.
Funny thing, if it's not dere, U go outa ya mind looking for it. LOL.
I JUST HATE PERIODS. Bt fantasize about having sex when its dere.
MESSY MESSY THING.
I haven't been to church in... ... .,. ... Rily cnt remember the last time. i'm nt proud of it doh.
L8ly, i'v bn having erratic heart beats, skip skap skop STOP. It leaves me light headed and injuriously agressive. But FOCUSED i'l stay and LIVE I WILL.
I could DIE,
I could LIVE.
I could sink beneath this WAVE, But
My choice determines my STRENGTH.
But,if i DIE before i WAKE,
Weep not world for it's my FATE.
Look back and remember me for these THINGS....
I CAME, SMILED AT YOU,& I'M GONE.
But if i'm awake by DAWN,... ...
Hold my hands, SMILE YOUR BEST,....
Cuz i'm here for YOU.
Here,i am today, thinking of SWEET NOTHING. D house feels so quiet. D noise is gone. He left yesterday for school.
Well, "THE NOISE" is my last brother who always leaves us wondering wot he's got in his SMALL SKULL.
I bet i went to all the schools i did based on my parents decisions. I'v neva had a voice neways and sometimes even now.
So THE NOISE, takes his own decision and no one can change that. I bet my DAD finally met his MATCH.
My BOOBS HURT(bt dnt mind a massage).
I feel BLOATED.
I'm TOUCHY.
Fill like THROWING UP.
Bt my STOMACH,doesn't hurt. Thank Goodness.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
SUMMARY OF MY 1ST 8 MONTHS.....
Here comes
JANUARY:
WORK: Occupied by work. Loving my job the more,and doing it all rite.
RELATIONSHIP: None at all. Jst takin it as it is. Bt a feeling dat i mite start one. Its bn almst 2 years.
So it was all abt my job. JANUARY.
FEBRUARY:
Here it is, hating my job, after asking for permisn to attend my best friend's pop's burial& was landed a new target. Tried to meet up, bt overworkd my skinny arse and BROKEDOWN.
RLATNSHP: OK, sumtn's brewing with a young dude,whom witout even,........, i fell in love with. I was willing to let myslf flow with d tide. Sumtn to ease up with afta WORK.
MARCH:
Tried to kip up with my job but i knw not like i did b4. Going to work became UNINTRESTING, And i hated d begining of each week.
LOVE: Oh, wot it does to you..... Wantd 2 spend my all days,wit my CHARMING PRINCE, Bt DISTANCE + WORK, (Of couse,work. If nt no chop). Made do with d wkends we happen to see and the Phone calls. mchéeewww
APRIL:
I was less, productive at work and dat was bcuz i wanted to. It got worse, and my guilty conscience din't help me one bit, so i decided to up my Game.
LOVE:
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE THRILLS ME, A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE KILLS ME , A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
I WANTED TO KNOW SOME MORE..........
ARE U 4 REAL......? I Always thot.
Work got better though.
MAY:
Work has improvd a lil bit. Less pressure frøm superiors. Oops, evritn's falling in place.
LOVE: Rlatnshp meltdown. I feel it, bt choose to ignore it. I WAS IN LOVE and din't wana c d glaring signs.
It came, a'las.
It crashed.
I was devastated.
I wantd answers.
I got none.
Evritn went blank.
LOVE SUCKS AIT? Messes wit ur head big time.
JUNE:
Work suffered more and more. Evritn was bleak. Couldn't concentrate, just couldn't.
PERSĂ–NAL LIFE: LOST weight, cldnt eat for weeks. Became more a shadow of myslf. DAMN IT. al bcuz of LOVE. I became agressive, hated evritn around me. CRIED almost evri nite. Bt dis too will pass.
JULY:
WORK, i hated so much now. Jst went dere cuz i had to. Counting my days to leave d job 4 a while. To tink tings tru in my head. And dere it came, bt UGLY.
LIFE: MY heart, kinda played a trick on me. Went on admission in a hospital. Bt dis wasn't the kinda break i needed away from work. This was worse than work. I was in pains and yes ALL BECUZ OF LOVE.
The DOCTOR tried to talk me out of it.
My MUM did too.
So did my DAD.
Did i listen? Yeah i did. I startd to get ova it big time.
YES, I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEARTED.
BLUE, SINCE THE DAY WE PARTED.
WHY, WHY, DID WE EVA LET GO.
MY , MY,.....
I SHOULD JUST HAVE LET YOU GO.
AUGUST:
FREE from work a'las. More time to focus and tink things thru.
Took a one week trip outside my ZONE. Yeah, it did help.
My best friend came visiting and told me stuff dat brought tears to my eyes.
I realizd hear anger. Bcuz of dis DUDE, Our friendship swayed and even her MOTHER, Complaind.
SHE BLURTD OUT: I HATE HIM 4 WOT HE DID TO YOU.
ME: I HAVEN'T GIVEN MYSLF A REASON TO HATE HIM.
So, she travels back,and i tot about our discussion and yeah rite. WAS HE WORTH OUR SEPERATION? DAMN. W'eve come a long way( 1996-2009). And jst a 3months FLASH, Almost ruined dat. NEVA AGAIN WIL I LET THAT HAPPEN.
I'm back home to see my family. And ave an urge to see him again.
WOT AM I DOING???
I WAS ANGRY AND SAD, WHEN I KNEW WE WERE THRU.
I CAN'T COUNT ALL THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED OVER YOU.
LOOK AT ME NOW...
WILL I EVER LEARN,
I DON'T KNW HOW...
BUT I SUDDENLY LOSE CONTRO-O-O-L,.....
THERE'S A FIRE WITHIN MY SOUL.
JUST ONE LOOK,(met him at my sista's place)
AND I CAN HEAR A BELL RING.
ONE MORE LOOK,
AND I FORGET EVERYTHING.
SO, some days ago, i go to see him, and..
DOT DOT DOT.
S-E-P-T-E-M-B-E-R.
HAPI NW MONTH.
JANUARY:
WORK: Occupied by work. Loving my job the more,and doing it all rite.
RELATIONSHIP: None at all. Jst takin it as it is. Bt a feeling dat i mite start one. Its bn almst 2 years.
So it was all abt my job. JANUARY.
FEBRUARY:
Here it is, hating my job, after asking for permisn to attend my best friend's pop's burial& was landed a new target. Tried to meet up, bt overworkd my skinny arse and BROKEDOWN.
RLATNSHP: OK, sumtn's brewing with a young dude,whom witout even,........, i fell in love with. I was willing to let myslf flow with d tide. Sumtn to ease up with afta WORK.
MARCH:
Tried to kip up with my job but i knw not like i did b4. Going to work became UNINTRESTING, And i hated d begining of each week.
LOVE: Oh, wot it does to you..... Wantd 2 spend my all days,wit my CHARMING PRINCE, Bt DISTANCE + WORK, (Of couse,work. If nt no chop). Made do with d wkends we happen to see and the Phone calls. mchéeewww
APRIL:
I was less, productive at work and dat was bcuz i wanted to. It got worse, and my guilty conscience din't help me one bit, so i decided to up my Game.
LOVE:
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE THRILLS ME, A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE KILLS ME , A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
I WANTED TO KNOW SOME MORE..........
ARE U 4 REAL......? I Always thot.
Work got better though.
MAY:
Work has improvd a lil bit. Less pressure frøm superiors. Oops, evritn's falling in place.
LOVE: Rlatnshp meltdown. I feel it, bt choose to ignore it. I WAS IN LOVE and din't wana c d glaring signs.
It came, a'las.
It crashed.
I was devastated.
I wantd answers.
I got none.
Evritn went blank.
LOVE SUCKS AIT? Messes wit ur head big time.
JUNE:
Work suffered more and more. Evritn was bleak. Couldn't concentrate, just couldn't.
PERSĂ–NAL LIFE: LOST weight, cldnt eat for weeks. Became more a shadow of myslf. DAMN IT. al bcuz of LOVE. I became agressive, hated evritn around me. CRIED almost evri nite. Bt dis too will pass.
JULY:
WORK, i hated so much now. Jst went dere cuz i had to. Counting my days to leave d job 4 a while. To tink tings tru in my head. And dere it came, bt UGLY.
LIFE: MY heart, kinda played a trick on me. Went on admission in a hospital. Bt dis wasn't the kinda break i needed away from work. This was worse than work. I was in pains and yes ALL BECUZ OF LOVE.
The DOCTOR tried to talk me out of it.
My MUM did too.
So did my DAD.
Did i listen? Yeah i did. I startd to get ova it big time.
YES, I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEARTED.
BLUE, SINCE THE DAY WE PARTED.
WHY, WHY, DID WE EVA LET GO.
MY , MY,.....
I SHOULD JUST HAVE LET YOU GO.
AUGUST:
FREE from work a'las. More time to focus and tink things thru.
Took a one week trip outside my ZONE. Yeah, it did help.
My best friend came visiting and told me stuff dat brought tears to my eyes.
I realizd hear anger. Bcuz of dis DUDE, Our friendship swayed and even her MOTHER, Complaind.
SHE BLURTD OUT: I HATE HIM 4 WOT HE DID TO YOU.
ME: I HAVEN'T GIVEN MYSLF A REASON TO HATE HIM.
So, she travels back,and i tot about our discussion and yeah rite. WAS HE WORTH OUR SEPERATION? DAMN. W'eve come a long way( 1996-2009). And jst a 3months FLASH, Almost ruined dat. NEVA AGAIN WIL I LET THAT HAPPEN.
I'm back home to see my family. And ave an urge to see him again.
WOT AM I DOING???
I WAS ANGRY AND SAD, WHEN I KNEW WE WERE THRU.
I CAN'T COUNT ALL THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED OVER YOU.
LOOK AT ME NOW...
WILL I EVER LEARN,
I DON'T KNW HOW...
BUT I SUDDENLY LOSE CONTRO-O-O-L,.....
THERE'S A FIRE WITHIN MY SOUL.
JUST ONE LOOK,(met him at my sista's place)
AND I CAN HEAR A BELL RING.
ONE MORE LOOK,
AND I FORGET EVERYTHING.
SO, some days ago, i go to see him, and..
DOT DOT DOT.
S-E-P-T-E-M-B-E-R.
HAPI NW MONTH.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
MY FEAR.... CALLED!!!!!
RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, and MARRIAGE. Yeah MARRIAGE!!!!
Ok, dats my fear......, bad SPOT.. SHUCKS. Wareva.
Its like dis.........
Some weeks ago, i spent a few days with a young couple. Oh well, 2 years gone into the union,and the picture i see....... Oh, MARRIAGE.
Cleaning up after her hubby, is more than a days job, with little or no contribution even at his own spare time.
Thank goodness, no kids yet, i wonder what the picture would have been.
Then, i spend a few days with my sister,.... I still feel that bitter taste in my mouth of, OH MARRIAGE. Nothing Bad on her side, but i stil can't help but feel PARANOID.
Since i was a kid,... Everyday, i watch my mum.., i see her anguish,i feel her pain,... But still, MARRIAGE.
I daydream about it,muse about it, paint pictures about it, but still can't deal with it.
I've got plenty of negatives about it.
My childhood, din't help it.
Can't afford to be a bad mother or wife.
Or even walk out of it.
I have a huge fear for it, that i know.
One that'l break the hearts of....,......
Oh,what about them, they've lived their lives, and this is mine.
I believe in LOVE.
I don't have a RELATIONSHIP.
I'll be MARRIED some day.
And I love CHILDREN.
Ok, dats my fear......, bad SPOT.. SHUCKS. Wareva.
Its like dis.........
Some weeks ago, i spent a few days with a young couple. Oh well, 2 years gone into the union,and the picture i see....... Oh, MARRIAGE.
Cleaning up after her hubby, is more than a days job, with little or no contribution even at his own spare time.
Thank goodness, no kids yet, i wonder what the picture would have been.
Then, i spend a few days with my sister,.... I still feel that bitter taste in my mouth of, OH MARRIAGE. Nothing Bad on her side, but i stil can't help but feel PARANOID.
Since i was a kid,... Everyday, i watch my mum.., i see her anguish,i feel her pain,... But still, MARRIAGE.
I daydream about it,muse about it, paint pictures about it, but still can't deal with it.
I've got plenty of negatives about it.
My childhood, din't help it.
Can't afford to be a bad mother or wife.
Or even walk out of it.
I have a huge fear for it, that i know.
One that'l break the hearts of....,......
Oh,what about them, they've lived their lives, and this is mine.
I believe in LOVE.
I don't have a RELATIONSHIP.
I'll be MARRIED some day.
And I love CHILDREN.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
SEXCAPADE
Wen i consider, the curious habit of puberty stricken boys as pertaining to sex, i'm often worried to my guts as to wot my brother's are into. DANG.
After my interactions with some male folks, about their first sexual encounter, the answers, i got......... Whewww...... ..... I hope my brother's are not victims to this. *sighs*.
Well, i may say, we don't have a househelp, cuz dats usually their first escapade, but what about, neighbours, class teacher, and the crazy bunch of wild female luking for young boys to devour.
A friend once told me,he ran into their old househelp who happened to be his first lay and almost Puked. For the life of me,he says, " i'l neva have stuck my thing into that".
I wöndered at this point, why call her "THAT" now, i mean you also did it with ur AUNTIES.......
For my other friend, it was his Sister and that hunts him till this day. ;-( ;-(:-(. But you enjoyed it while it lasted, DIN'T YOU?????
One day, i'l sit and listen to my brother's tale.......
After my interactions with some male folks, about their first sexual encounter, the answers, i got......... Whewww...... ..... I hope my brother's are not victims to this. *sighs*.
Well, i may say, we don't have a househelp, cuz dats usually their first escapade, but what about, neighbours, class teacher, and the crazy bunch of wild female luking for young boys to devour.
A friend once told me,he ran into their old househelp who happened to be his first lay and almost Puked. For the life of me,he says, " i'l neva have stuck my thing into that".
I wöndered at this point, why call her "THAT" now, i mean you also did it with ur AUNTIES.......
For my other friend, it was his Sister and that hunts him till this day. ;-( ;-(:-(. But you enjoyed it while it lasted, DIN'T YOU?????
One day, i'l sit and listen to my brother's tale.......
Letting go
Dis came 4rm d fact dat i'v cme to accept d fact dat i cnt change wot..... Well, i dnt knw.
Sometimes, letting go doesn't mean " U LOST". It mite just b wot u nid or so i fink... ;) . But the reality of it.........
For some months nw, and d life of me, i'v decided to let d hurt take its ful course so dat d future wil b secured. Yeah, i'v goofed too bt dat doesn't change a fing about me cz i'm only human.
C-R-A-C-K.
Now, i'v pickd myslf up 4rm d mud of misery i'v bn wallowing in and ruins of false blames to my Old Game.
IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK. ;-):) .
Sometimes, letting go doesn't mean " U LOST". It mite just b wot u nid or so i fink... ;) . But the reality of it.........
For some months nw, and d life of me, i'v decided to let d hurt take its ful course so dat d future wil b secured. Yeah, i'v goofed too bt dat doesn't change a fing about me cz i'm only human.
C-R-A-C-K.
Now, i'v pickd myslf up 4rm d mud of misery i'v bn wallowing in and ruins of false blames to my Old Game.
IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK. ;-):) .
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