So my very own Best friend thinks a Long Distance relationships is not a healthy choice for me cuz she says “When i get to meet the person finally that i might just change my mind (ZERO TOLERANCE)..... or its a means for me to escape the reality / giving all of me (safer with the distance) or being vulnerable in a relationship.
My cousin’s are working very hard to see they get me a boyfriend on ground buh.... all in vain (not interested)
I can be a piece of work, and i know it... I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I WANT WHAT I WANT, AND I HAVE WHAT I WANT.
Well, relationship is a relationship to me, whether Distant or Close. And of a truth, it has majorly been the story of my life, that way i’m neither brutally heartbroken or fall to pieces when it all goes sour.:)
Once upon a time in my life, i met a certain someone and we became friends, all was well with our friendship which blossomed despite his endless challenges. And we decided to do the dating thing (LONG DISTANCE), And i figured out that, as much as the heart wants what it wants (the feel of having someone), there are some things that should not be ignored..... Months down the line, i was drained and wanted out. Its so easy opting out of a LD Arrangement, infact its just Perfect.... :D
You will have long endless thoughts and even dream of meeting with your LD boyfriend (see previous post www.fragilelooks.blogspot.com/2010/04/in-my-deams), there are some real exciting moments and there are also the ugly head days, but what you decide to make of it, ............ NA U SABI.
True Love finds you, through distance or otherwise, and today, I AM TOTALLY OVERWHELMED as it marks 1 year with my Boo, and it just still feels like yesterday.
Has it been TRYING / CHALLENGING??? Emphatically YES.... But on this journey, i am most comfortable, and every inch at ease.
So i tell my best friend, my experience so far, and she’s happy and all, but she says “TILL YOU SPEND TIME WITH HIM IN NAIJA, AND STILL SAY THESE, THEN I’LL KNOW YOU ARE SERIOUS” (LMSAO).
Are there Distractions? YES.(Fine boys with flowing cash) :D
Are there people there trying to discourage you? YES
(people who don't undestand it)
Are there nights when all you need is a HUG but all you get is a CALL?? YES
(after a hard day @ work)
Are there days, when you ask yourself, if you are Ok? YES
(after u must have turned a lonley girls dream down)
Are there times (misunderstandings), when you just wanna throw in the towel?? YES
Some have called it Infatuation, some say its a waste of time, others say i'm just shying away from relationships., whadever, I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I WANT WHAT I WANT, AND I HAVE WHAT I WANT.
being in a LD relationship = being hopeful
One Year and Happy........ H.A.P.P.Y.
#purplemelodies
Fragile
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Friday, July 9, 2010
ONE YEAR AFTER
* THIS COULD BE IT, I THINK I'M IN LOVE...... (SHANIA TWAIN'S "WHEN U KISS ME" BEING THE SONG OF THE DAY).
IT FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME IN THE MOST UN-EXPECTED WAY. I STILL HAVE MY DOUBTS, SO ITS NOT A CASE OF BEING BLINDED BY LOVE.... FOR I CAN SEE FAR BEYOND AND READ INBETWEEN THE LINES. HE, BECAME THE ONE.
I LOVE YOU COLLINS UCHENNA UGWA.
* I'M STILL JOBLESS. YES, EXACTLY ONE YEAR SINCE I LAST WENT OUT MARKETING AND COUNTING MONIES THAT BELONGED TO OTHERS. ONE YEAR SINCE I LAST ATTENDED 7AM MONDAY MORNING MEETINGS AND TURNING IN FRIDAY WEEKLY REPORTS.
* I'M STLL MOST GRATEFUL TO GOD FOR A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE EVEN THOUGH I'VE NOT BEEN MY BEST (IN TERMS OF SERVING HIM TRULY). YEAH, ONE YEAR SINCE MY HEART SHUT DOWN ON ME.STILL SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME.
* AND ONE MORE YEAR CLOSER TO MAKING A COMMITMENT OF A LIFETIME.*wink wink*
HAPPY WEEKEND Y'ALL.
IT FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME IN THE MOST UN-EXPECTED WAY. I STILL HAVE MY DOUBTS, SO ITS NOT A CASE OF BEING BLINDED BY LOVE.... FOR I CAN SEE FAR BEYOND AND READ INBETWEEN THE LINES. HE, BECAME THE ONE.
I LOVE YOU COLLINS UCHENNA UGWA.
* I'M STILL JOBLESS. YES, EXACTLY ONE YEAR SINCE I LAST WENT OUT MARKETING AND COUNTING MONIES THAT BELONGED TO OTHERS. ONE YEAR SINCE I LAST ATTENDED 7AM MONDAY MORNING MEETINGS AND TURNING IN FRIDAY WEEKLY REPORTS.
* I'M STLL MOST GRATEFUL TO GOD FOR A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE EVEN THOUGH I'VE NOT BEEN MY BEST (IN TERMS OF SERVING HIM TRULY). YEAH, ONE YEAR SINCE MY HEART SHUT DOWN ON ME.STILL SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME.
* AND ONE MORE YEAR CLOSER TO MAKING A COMMITMENT OF A LIFETIME.*wink wink*
HAPPY WEEKEND Y'ALL.
Monday, December 14, 2009
SAVE ME SOON.
WHAT HAVE I BECOME?????
ALLERGIC TO LOVE???
DEAD TO ALL EMOTIONS????
A COLD UNFEELING BIATCH AS I'VE BEEN PRESENTLY TAGGED.........
GOD, I WASN'T THIS WAY. I'VE NEVER BEEN AND WILL NEVER BE....... BUT WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW??????????????????
THANKS TO U *M*, I'VE BEEN TAGGED AS THIS *CUB*...... MHHHHHHHH , I KINDA FANCY THE NAME DOH,,,,, MAKES ME FEEL ALL IN CHARGE. YES, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AND FROM HENCEFORTH, CONTINUE TO BE, CUZ I AM A BITCH.
RECENTLY, I'VE MET SOME REAL COOL GUYS, WHO COULD HAVE MADE A BOBO, BUT SUMWHERE ALONG THE LINE, I JUST FIND A REASON TO TELL THEM OFF. IT EVEN GETS WORSE THAT TODAY, WHILE I WENT TO SEE AHMED..............
YEA, AHMED THAT I EVEN LIKE A LOT.MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
HERE IS AHMED, WHO JUST GOT BACK AND WE SEAT TO GIST AS NORMAL. HE GETS ON ONE KNEE, WITH A RING IN HAND.MHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. NOT JUST ANY RING OH.......... A RING HIS MOTHER GAVE HIM SINCE LONG AGO......... ASKING ME TO BE OFFICIAL WITH US.
I JUST SAT THERE LAUGHING OUT LOUD *EVIL LAFTER*....... LIKE HE GOT A MASK ON HIS FACE. AND EVER SO SWEETLY, I SAID A BIG *NO* WITH A PECK ON HIS CHEEK.
OWWWWWWWW, POOR BOY, U NEEDED TO SEE THE LOOK ON HIS CANDID FACE.
TEARS WELLED UP HIS EYES, NOSE TWITCHED AS HE FOUGHT BACK TEARS, AND HIS MOUTH OPENED AND CLOSED AS HE TRIED TO FIND THE WORDS TO SPEAK. POOR BOY.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??????
WHEN DID I BECOME THIS MONSTER????????
WHERE HAVE ALL MY FEELINGS GONE???????
WHO CAN SAVE ME NOW??????????
ALLERGIC TO LOVE???
DEAD TO ALL EMOTIONS????
A COLD UNFEELING BIATCH AS I'VE BEEN PRESENTLY TAGGED.........
GOD, I WASN'T THIS WAY. I'VE NEVER BEEN AND WILL NEVER BE....... BUT WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW??????????????????
THANKS TO U *M*, I'VE BEEN TAGGED AS THIS *CUB*...... MHHHHHHHH , I KINDA FANCY THE NAME DOH,,,,, MAKES ME FEEL ALL IN CHARGE. YES, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AND FROM HENCEFORTH, CONTINUE TO BE, CUZ I AM A BITCH.
RECENTLY, I'VE MET SOME REAL COOL GUYS, WHO COULD HAVE MADE A BOBO, BUT SUMWHERE ALONG THE LINE, I JUST FIND A REASON TO TELL THEM OFF. IT EVEN GETS WORSE THAT TODAY, WHILE I WENT TO SEE AHMED..............
YEA, AHMED THAT I EVEN LIKE A LOT.MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
HERE IS AHMED, WHO JUST GOT BACK AND WE SEAT TO GIST AS NORMAL. HE GETS ON ONE KNEE, WITH A RING IN HAND.MHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. NOT JUST ANY RING OH.......... A RING HIS MOTHER GAVE HIM SINCE LONG AGO......... ASKING ME TO BE OFFICIAL WITH US.
I JUST SAT THERE LAUGHING OUT LOUD *EVIL LAFTER*....... LIKE HE GOT A MASK ON HIS FACE. AND EVER SO SWEETLY, I SAID A BIG *NO* WITH A PECK ON HIS CHEEK.
OWWWWWWWW, POOR BOY, U NEEDED TO SEE THE LOOK ON HIS CANDID FACE.
TEARS WELLED UP HIS EYES, NOSE TWITCHED AS HE FOUGHT BACK TEARS, AND HIS MOUTH OPENED AND CLOSED AS HE TRIED TO FIND THE WORDS TO SPEAK. POOR BOY.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??????
WHEN DID I BECOME THIS MONSTER????????
WHERE HAVE ALL MY FEELINGS GONE???????
WHO CAN SAVE ME NOW??????????
Monday, December 7, 2009
FOR AHMED
WHEN WORDS SEEM TO FAIL YOU.
AND FATE SEEMS TO TRICK YOU.
WHEN ALL SEEMS TO GO WRONG.
LOOK UP AND SEE LOVE.
WHEN LIFE SEEMS SO SHORT.
AND GRACE SEEMS ALL LOST.
WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN SOUTH.
GOD'S LOVE WILL LIGHT YOU UP.
OF HIS WILL YOU WERE BORN.
BY HIS GRACE YOU ARE SAVED.
BY HIS STRIPES, U WERE HEALED.
THUS SAITH THE LORD, YOU WILL LIVE.
AND JUST LIKE YESTERDAY.
THE MEMORIES WILL FADE AWAY.
THE TIDE IS HIGH TODAY.
BUT U'LL MOVE ON AS ALWAYS.
SPOKE WITH AHMED TODAY, AND HE'S DOING JUST FINE. HE'S STILL UNDERGOING SOME TEST NOW, NOT SO SURE ABOUT RE-SURGERY.
I KNOW AHMED LIKES ME A LOT. I DO LIKE HIM TOO. AND WE BOTH LIKE OURSELVES BUT WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER, WHY?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
IS IT BECAUSE HE'S A MUSLIM?????????? OR BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MARRIED TO HIS COUSIN????????????????(HE CALLED THAT OFF BECAUSE OF ME, SOME MONTHS AGO)HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. MIXED EMOTIONIONAL COMBAT................
GOD JUST KEEP HIM SAFE, I PRAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
AND FATE SEEMS TO TRICK YOU.
WHEN ALL SEEMS TO GO WRONG.
LOOK UP AND SEE LOVE.
WHEN LIFE SEEMS SO SHORT.
AND GRACE SEEMS ALL LOST.
WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN SOUTH.
GOD'S LOVE WILL LIGHT YOU UP.
OF HIS WILL YOU WERE BORN.
BY HIS GRACE YOU ARE SAVED.
BY HIS STRIPES, U WERE HEALED.
THUS SAITH THE LORD, YOU WILL LIVE.
AND JUST LIKE YESTERDAY.
THE MEMORIES WILL FADE AWAY.
THE TIDE IS HIGH TODAY.
BUT U'LL MOVE ON AS ALWAYS.
SPOKE WITH AHMED TODAY, AND HE'S DOING JUST FINE. HE'S STILL UNDERGOING SOME TEST NOW, NOT SO SURE ABOUT RE-SURGERY.
I KNOW AHMED LIKES ME A LOT. I DO LIKE HIM TOO. AND WE BOTH LIKE OURSELVES BUT WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER, WHY?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
IS IT BECAUSE HE'S A MUSLIM?????????? OR BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MARRIED TO HIS COUSIN????????????????(HE CALLED THAT OFF BECAUSE OF ME, SOME MONTHS AGO)HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. MIXED EMOTIONIONAL COMBAT................
GOD JUST KEEP HIM SAFE, I PRAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
SUMMARY OF MY 1ST 8 MONTHS.....
Here comes
JANUARY:
WORK: Occupied by work. Loving my job the more,and doing it all rite.
RELATIONSHIP: None at all. Jst takin it as it is. Bt a feeling dat i mite start one. Its bn almst 2 years.
So it was all abt my job. JANUARY.
FEBRUARY:
Here it is, hating my job, after asking for permisn to attend my best friend's pop's burial& was landed a new target. Tried to meet up, bt overworkd my skinny arse and BROKEDOWN.
RLATNSHP: OK, sumtn's brewing with a young dude,whom witout even,........, i fell in love with. I was willing to let myslf flow with d tide. Sumtn to ease up with afta WORK.
MARCH:
Tried to kip up with my job but i knw not like i did b4. Going to work became UNINTRESTING, And i hated d begining of each week.
LOVE: Oh, wot it does to you..... Wantd 2 spend my all days,wit my CHARMING PRINCE, Bt DISTANCE + WORK, (Of couse,work. If nt no chop). Made do with d wkends we happen to see and the Phone calls. mchéeewww
APRIL:
I was less, productive at work and dat was bcuz i wanted to. It got worse, and my guilty conscience din't help me one bit, so i decided to up my Game.
LOVE:
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE THRILLS ME, A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE KILLS ME , A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
I WANTED TO KNOW SOME MORE..........
ARE U 4 REAL......? I Always thot.
Work got better though.
MAY:
Work has improvd a lil bit. Less pressure frøm superiors. Oops, evritn's falling in place.
LOVE: Rlatnshp meltdown. I feel it, bt choose to ignore it. I WAS IN LOVE and din't wana c d glaring signs.
It came, a'las.
It crashed.
I was devastated.
I wantd answers.
I got none.
Evritn went blank.
LOVE SUCKS AIT? Messes wit ur head big time.
JUNE:
Work suffered more and more. Evritn was bleak. Couldn't concentrate, just couldn't.
PERSÖNAL LIFE: LOST weight, cldnt eat for weeks. Became more a shadow of myslf. DAMN IT. al bcuz of LOVE. I became agressive, hated evritn around me. CRIED almost evri nite. Bt dis too will pass.
JULY:
WORK, i hated so much now. Jst went dere cuz i had to. Counting my days to leave d job 4 a while. To tink tings tru in my head. And dere it came, bt UGLY.
LIFE: MY heart, kinda played a trick on me. Went on admission in a hospital. Bt dis wasn't the kinda break i needed away from work. This was worse than work. I was in pains and yes ALL BECUZ OF LOVE.
The DOCTOR tried to talk me out of it.
My MUM did too.
So did my DAD.
Did i listen? Yeah i did. I startd to get ova it big time.
YES, I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEARTED.
BLUE, SINCE THE DAY WE PARTED.
WHY, WHY, DID WE EVA LET GO.
MY , MY,.....
I SHOULD JUST HAVE LET YOU GO.
AUGUST:
FREE from work a'las. More time to focus and tink things thru.
Took a one week trip outside my ZONE. Yeah, it did help.
My best friend came visiting and told me stuff dat brought tears to my eyes.
I realizd hear anger. Bcuz of dis DUDE, Our friendship swayed and even her MOTHER, Complaind.
SHE BLURTD OUT: I HATE HIM 4 WOT HE DID TO YOU.
ME: I HAVEN'T GIVEN MYSLF A REASON TO HATE HIM.
So, she travels back,and i tot about our discussion and yeah rite. WAS HE WORTH OUR SEPERATION? DAMN. W'eve come a long way( 1996-2009). And jst a 3months FLASH, Almost ruined dat. NEVA AGAIN WIL I LET THAT HAPPEN.
I'm back home to see my family. And ave an urge to see him again.
WOT AM I DOING???
I WAS ANGRY AND SAD, WHEN I KNEW WE WERE THRU.
I CAN'T COUNT ALL THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED OVER YOU.
LOOK AT ME NOW...
WILL I EVER LEARN,
I DON'T KNW HOW...
BUT I SUDDENLY LOSE CONTRO-O-O-L,.....
THERE'S A FIRE WITHIN MY SOUL.
JUST ONE LOOK,(met him at my sista's place)
AND I CAN HEAR A BELL RING.
ONE MORE LOOK,
AND I FORGET EVERYTHING.
SO, some days ago, i go to see him, and..
DOT DOT DOT.
S-E-P-T-E-M-B-E-R.
HAPI NW MONTH.
JANUARY:
WORK: Occupied by work. Loving my job the more,and doing it all rite.
RELATIONSHIP: None at all. Jst takin it as it is. Bt a feeling dat i mite start one. Its bn almst 2 years.
So it was all abt my job. JANUARY.
FEBRUARY:
Here it is, hating my job, after asking for permisn to attend my best friend's pop's burial& was landed a new target. Tried to meet up, bt overworkd my skinny arse and BROKEDOWN.
RLATNSHP: OK, sumtn's brewing with a young dude,whom witout even,........, i fell in love with. I was willing to let myslf flow with d tide. Sumtn to ease up with afta WORK.
MARCH:
Tried to kip up with my job but i knw not like i did b4. Going to work became UNINTRESTING, And i hated d begining of each week.
LOVE: Oh, wot it does to you..... Wantd 2 spend my all days,wit my CHARMING PRINCE, Bt DISTANCE + WORK, (Of couse,work. If nt no chop). Made do with d wkends we happen to see and the Phone calls. mchéeewww
APRIL:
I was less, productive at work and dat was bcuz i wanted to. It got worse, and my guilty conscience din't help me one bit, so i decided to up my Game.
LOVE:
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE THRILLS ME, A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE KILLS ME , A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
I WANTED TO KNOW SOME MORE..........
ARE U 4 REAL......? I Always thot.
Work got better though.
MAY:
Work has improvd a lil bit. Less pressure frøm superiors. Oops, evritn's falling in place.
LOVE: Rlatnshp meltdown. I feel it, bt choose to ignore it. I WAS IN LOVE and din't wana c d glaring signs.
It came, a'las.
It crashed.
I was devastated.
I wantd answers.
I got none.
Evritn went blank.
LOVE SUCKS AIT? Messes wit ur head big time.
JUNE:
Work suffered more and more. Evritn was bleak. Couldn't concentrate, just couldn't.
PERSÖNAL LIFE: LOST weight, cldnt eat for weeks. Became more a shadow of myslf. DAMN IT. al bcuz of LOVE. I became agressive, hated evritn around me. CRIED almost evri nite. Bt dis too will pass.
JULY:
WORK, i hated so much now. Jst went dere cuz i had to. Counting my days to leave d job 4 a while. To tink tings tru in my head. And dere it came, bt UGLY.
LIFE: MY heart, kinda played a trick on me. Went on admission in a hospital. Bt dis wasn't the kinda break i needed away from work. This was worse than work. I was in pains and yes ALL BECUZ OF LOVE.
The DOCTOR tried to talk me out of it.
My MUM did too.
So did my DAD.
Did i listen? Yeah i did. I startd to get ova it big time.
YES, I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEARTED.
BLUE, SINCE THE DAY WE PARTED.
WHY, WHY, DID WE EVA LET GO.
MY , MY,.....
I SHOULD JUST HAVE LET YOU GO.
AUGUST:
FREE from work a'las. More time to focus and tink things thru.
Took a one week trip outside my ZONE. Yeah, it did help.
My best friend came visiting and told me stuff dat brought tears to my eyes.
I realizd hear anger. Bcuz of dis DUDE, Our friendship swayed and even her MOTHER, Complaind.
SHE BLURTD OUT: I HATE HIM 4 WOT HE DID TO YOU.
ME: I HAVEN'T GIVEN MYSLF A REASON TO HATE HIM.
So, she travels back,and i tot about our discussion and yeah rite. WAS HE WORTH OUR SEPERATION? DAMN. W'eve come a long way( 1996-2009). And jst a 3months FLASH, Almost ruined dat. NEVA AGAIN WIL I LET THAT HAPPEN.
I'm back home to see my family. And ave an urge to see him again.
WOT AM I DOING???
I WAS ANGRY AND SAD, WHEN I KNEW WE WERE THRU.
I CAN'T COUNT ALL THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED OVER YOU.
LOOK AT ME NOW...
WILL I EVER LEARN,
I DON'T KNW HOW...
BUT I SUDDENLY LOSE CONTRO-O-O-L,.....
THERE'S A FIRE WITHIN MY SOUL.
JUST ONE LOOK,(met him at my sista's place)
AND I CAN HEAR A BELL RING.
ONE MORE LOOK,
AND I FORGET EVERYTHING.
SO, some days ago, i go to see him, and..
DOT DOT DOT.
S-E-P-T-E-M-B-E-R.
HAPI NW MONTH.
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