HALF TRUTHS

And i was fed sweet lies from a heart.
I bought and paid for it with my precious time............
I sang those sweet purple melodies...
Of the Silver Rain and Golden Rays.
A Perfect tune, A Perfecr Dance,..............
A Certain's fools Paradise.

OF SAND CASTLES,
ON A SEA SHORE.

AND ICE MANSION,
WITH THE WARM MORNING SUN.

AND A STRAW HAVEN,
WITH A TINY SPARK.

GONE AWAY WITH THE BLINK OF AN EYE.

I RISE AGAIN TO MAKE MELODIES,
THIS TIME, OF FADED RAINBOWS ON TAINTED GLASS..
A VITAL LOSS, AND TRAGIC END..
A TOAST TO LEAVING AGAIN.

BAD DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 days ago, was just one of those days you feel like everything was working against you.

First, it was the stomach cramps, then the stress of going to Gwags (Uni Abuja) to submit my forms, and then having to go to the banks to find out that your account statement is seriously not in your favour, and the exchange rate had dropped to 158 naira per Dollar as against 164 two days before, and then going home to realize that the carpenter have left your work undone. Mschewwwwwwwwwwwww.


WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO????


So i went to church with a heart so full of worries, even though i knew i was so late. As i entered the church, the first words i heard were “HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE”........ And there i was still thinking when the pastor said, “I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY”........... i was to weak to even smile, so i said the words rather unconvincingly.


Got back home, with no sleep in sight, turned on the computer and as though i hadn’t had enough for the day, my MTN broadband also decided not to connect. WHAT A LONG NIGHT!!!!!

Thursday morning, with a heavy heart still, i managed to make it to work only for the 104 page document i had so tirelessly worked on and should print now cuz the boss needed it, decided to act up. My flash drive got corrupt and i just bowed my head in more sorrow. Managed to copy the document from the flash to my laptop and then sent it to the printer and it wouldn’t print. WTH??? The boss breathing down my neck, i managed to remain calm. So i copied the file into another flash drive and then on another system and sent to print.

As though i have not had enough already, halfway into the printing, the ink finished.......... BAD DAY HUH????????????

And so i log unto FB, to see if i can find anything to make me laff, but none. so i clicked on one of those applications "ON THIS DAY, GOD WANTS U TO KNOW", and was told that, "they believe God wants me to know that, ............ cnt remember it all, but has to do with Playing in the name of LOVE and being Impoverished". WTH??? Me playing in the name of LOVE??????? WAS THAT A JOKE OF SOME SORT?? I Signed out as quickly as i could. RUBBISH.

I SPENT THE REST OF THE DAY SLEEPING ON DUTY, and had a dream that brought hope alive again.


THE DREAM........................................

It was a gathering, more like in church, and i was meant to sing, but as much as i tried, i kept loosing my voice. The more i tried, the more frustrated i got. So i gave up. Yes, i gave up and decided to just get away cuz everything was still working against me................... when a voice said to me.............
“DON’T GIVE UP, AND DON’T GIVE IN. LOOK AROUND YOU, YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL........... ..........” and just as i was about to still walk away, i heard the song............ “HERE’S MY SHOULDER YOU CAN LEAN ON ME”. And just then i started to cry, and i WOKE UP.


Sometimes, we get blinded by our emotions and drown in sadness, even though what we should do is LOOK UNTO GOD, and maintain a positive confession.

Y'ALL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WEEKEND. Kisses

SHE'S ALL MINE NOW

OFFICIALLY, I COME TO HER TODAY... SHE'S NOT BAD AFTERALL. SHE'S NOT PERMANENT EITHER, BUT SHE IS MY LAST MOVE BEFORE I MOVE ON TO OURS.

YESTERDAY, I CANCELLED MY CAPE VERDE TICKET JUST SO I CAN CLEAN HER UP AND SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER, AND EVEN MUSED ABOUT SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH HER, BUT TICK TOCK TICK, AND THE MIND CHANGED. SO I LEFT HER.

OFFICIALY I COME TO HER TODAY. KEPT TO MY EARLY MORNING DATE WITH HER, AND YEAH, PUT MY TORSO ON HER 16 INCHES SOFT LANDING, AND ADORNING HER WITH ALL THE TINY LITTLE DETAILS I HAVE FOR NOW.

I FIRST MET HER WHEN SHE SHE WAS NAKED,IN RUBBLES AND I WONDERED WHAT SHE WOULD TURN OUT TO BE WHEN AND IF SHE BECAME OFFICIALLY MINE. AND THE DAY I PROPOSED AND SHE SAID "YES", I KNEW THERE WAS NO GOING BACK AND SHE HAS COME TO STAY.

THE WHOLE JOURNEY WASN'T EASY AT ALL. FINDING HER EXPOSED ME TO A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF LIARS, CHEATS, AND SOME OUTRIGHTLY STUPID PEOPLE WHO WERE SO CLUELESS AS TO WHAT I REALLY WANTED IN HER.

TODAY, I'M AT PEACE IN HER WARM EMBRACE. THE PRICE OF PEACE UN-EQUALLED TO THE SUFFERING AND STRESS THAT FINDING HER CAME WITH.

AT LAST I'M HOME. THANK YOU LORD FOR THUS FAR.

BUT CAN SOMEONE TELL MY NEIGHBOUR'S TO GET A SILENCER FOR THEIR GENERATOR!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I STILL EXIST

2months later, she decided to update her blog. I have been thru my drafts and seen the how many times i have tried to update but the strength to go on failed me.
i do hope, i get this published as i planned.

its always good to be here, and when not here, i'm certainly on FACEBOOK, stalking, chatting and having a good laugh at the way people tell lies. I JUST LOVE FB.

This year, has been good, and it just gets better. Everything is working together for my good. I have been so happy lately and can't be bothered abt unneccessary things.I have added a few KGs which just suits me fine.

Work has had its UP's and DOWN's, but i'm still standing tall. It has made me a much stronger person, and has helped me manage my anger best.

Love must really be funny, or foolish. i dunno, but i think it becomes foolish when love turns sour and u marvel at the effort u had so much put in to make things work. But notwithstanding, LOVE IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING but don't just be blinded by the wrong things.

i don't wanna be Single nomore.
I have come to realize, that all i have been doing, is making excuzes of why i shouldn't do it cuz i'm afraid. But God said something concerning me "I HAVE NOT GIVEN YOU THE SPIRIT OF FEAR".

I REALLY WISH MY(HIS) BEDROOM COULD LOOK LIKE THIS. LOL.














Had a good time in Ghana 2weeks ago despite my heavy work schedule. A man that was trying to hit on me, told my BOSS that i was rude to him on the day of our conference and i got real mad. #damnstockyoldfool.I HATE OLDER MEN THAT HIT ON YOUNG GURLS. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
but most of our gurl wouldn't mind that...... cuz all would be translated to material gain. #smdh#

Y'all have a beautiful week.
Kisses

je m'appelle Fragilelooks. je suis un drogué

As i sat here waiting patiently for my new addiction, i couldnt help but notice the number of people that have the same expensive bad habit. their sizes ranging from LEPA(only me) to OROBO ........ and majority were MARRIED women.
So it got me thinking, have women stopped cooking in their homes??? or is this thing now food in most homes as most of them carted away with 5 or more.... . . .Husbands must be in trouble. lol

But truth be told, Mieeeeeeeennnnnnnnnn SHARWAMA is a straw tied to my wallet and the earlier i get over it, the better FINANCIAL MANAGER i'll become. Imagine N800 a day X 7 days a week ............, Now, that's mad cuz on a bad day, i might have two of those....

SO HERE I AM TODAY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..

MY NAME IS FRAGILELOOKS, AND I'M AN ADDICT.

They say the first cure to addiction is to admit that u are an addict. So the abstinence begins.

SHARWAMA:

(BEEF SHARWAMA).

CHICKEN SHARWAMA)


(CHICKEN)






SO HELP ME GOD.



Having gone kinky for sometime now, i decided to relax my hair and here:


BEFORE:
















AFTER:













Kinda miss the kinky though.


Still on my holiday, cuz my Oga has been away for sometime now, and our phone conversation yesterday went thus:

Me: hi, sir, goodevening

Him: hi fragile, whats been going on?

me: nothing much.

him: don't tell me u've gone on holiday cuz nothing means u are not doing anything

me: mhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *blank*, i've been busy,(in my mind *sleeping*)

him: u shldn't be paid this month cuz u not working

me: hahahahahahahahaha. ermmm, not my fault, i should have travelled with you but i still wouldn't be doing anything much.

him: neways, pls get a hotel for Mr XYZ for a week, just check the internet now and get back to me. and oh, i spoke with Miss ABC and she said she's in a hospital.

me: awwwwwww. yeah, she sent me a mail, saying that things have gone worse over dia, no food, no water, etc. I can't access the internet now cuz my laptop is in the office and i'm home now.

him: poor girl, ok. find a way to send her some money, i dnt know how, but thats ur department, and maybe, we'll find something for her to do here with us, and get her to come to Nigeria.

me: ok. will talk to you moro. have a goodnight.

Imagine this dude...... since our return from ghana, i have worked virtually 24hours for more than 6days. Body no be firewood naa. And besides, my french is still poor otherwise i would have been on this trip as well, working my skinny ass off.

2ND POST IN ONE WEEK......................... I'M COMING BACK.

*KISSES TO Y'ALL*

LAZY POST

STUMBLED ON THIS SONG AND AS I LISTENED TO IT, I COULD ONLY THINK OF ONE PERSON.

DO YOU REMEMBER MY POST ABT MY DREAM, MEETING MY LD(long distance)LOVE, AND WAS RUDELY AWOKEN BY A ROACH???
SOMETIMES, WE THINK WE ARE WAY OVER STUFF, BUT JUST A SONG CAN FLOOD U WITH TIMELESS MEMORIES. SO II SENT HIM THIS SONG TODAY, DUNNO WHY, BUT AT THE MOMENT, I MISS HIM SO BAD.

ENJOY.



I wish i could be here more often, but ................. i dunno, i really do miss blogging (true).

So, i'm having a conversation with a friend about househelps and it just made me realize how lazy she is or how spoilt she is.

Me: i really don't like helps whether live in or those that come and go. i just would not entertain such an idea.

She: mhh, that means you want to suffer. i can't be doing all this work nowwww. clean, cook, take care of the kids etc.

Me: ok, o. but for me it won't work.

This friend in question, is outrightly LAZY from my standards and it worries me how the KIDS mite turn out to be.Already, they act lazy(no i'm trying to sound nice), They are lazy. HOW CAN A 4YEAR OLD NOT KNOW HOW TO BLOW HIS NOSE?

The househelp cleans the house, cooks the food (even her husbands food), serves the food, does laundry, bathes the kids, goes to the market,etc and all she does is ABSOLUTE NOTHING and she's the first to complain about how tired she is. One day that househelp go BAFF UR HUSBAND JOIN. LOL

PLS DO U GET TIRED BY DOING NOTHING?????????????????????????????


Y'all have a GLORIOUS WEEK. i've been enjoying my 2weeks break. My job can be fun most times *winks*.

ON A RANDOM NOTE

JANUARY: I did not die of heartbreak; survival: check.

FEBRUARY: I did not die from work load; survival:check.

MARCH: can't complain about anything. Really God is merciful.

Can't get my hands round tis thing called an Ipad. Mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Still this year, I din't have a valentine. Worked all day long but got the crappiest of all chocolates ever made by MAN. Was happy to give it out. Lol.

So, I have taken my driving to a whole new level by riding on the highway. FEAR CONQUERED: CHECK.
Na so one day, I jejely dey carry our generator for office dey go servicing, na I'm oga mopol come stop me for road. Wetin be my offense now, I asked?

Mopol: madam, where is ur tinted permit?

Me: what permit? This car resemble tinted for ur eye? Oga beg this na sun shade.

Mopol: madam beg step down, bring ur gen receipt, plus the permit.

Dude don look me finish, feel say e go fit carry me shine for that day. So the security man wey me and am follow come step begin follow the man talk for Awusa but the guy head still dey hot. Na I'm my oga security commot our oga complimentary card show the guy, and without further delay, we rolled away.
So that got me thinking, just a business card and u can get away?????????? Naija.

The other day na I'm I just dey for one corner say make I drink something, wen I no fit help but listen to the convo btw the people sitting close by.
Boy: i so much enjoyed fucking u last nite. Kai, babe it was marathon. I just couldn't believe it.

Gurl: really? I must have slept the whole time through cuz I din't notice.

Me: I burst out laughing so hard. See bruised ego naaaaaaaaaaa. The look on his face was priceless.
If no be God, that guy for don burn me slap.



HOW ALL OF US DEY NA?????????????????????????????

LOVE
FRAGILE

CHALLENGES IN 2011

IT’S BEEN ALL TOUGH BUT I’M STANDING STRONG. I’VE BEEN HURT, BATTERD BY EMOTIONS, ENDLESS CRYING FOR DAYS, SICK, AND COMPLETELY DRAINED.

I LIVE AND WORK IN ABUJA. I DON’T HAVE A HOUSE, THUS I LIVED WITH MY SISTER.

IF U’VE BEEN FOLLOWING AND READING MY POSTS, U WILL SEE SOME WHERE I BICKERED ABOUT THE ISSUES BETWEEN MY SISTER AND I. BUT NOW I’M SO VERY SURE THAT I DO NOT KNOW OR WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER FOR A VERY LONG TIME AND I MEAN SO.

I CAME BACK TO ABUJA AFTER THE XMAS BRK ON THE 5TH TO RESUME WORK ON THE 6TH. EVERYTHING WAS FINE WITH ME. I HAD ASKED MY SISTER WHEN THEY’LL BE BACK AND SHE SAID “NOT SURE YET”.

SOME DAYS LATER, WHILE AT WORK, I GOT A TEXT FROM HER HUSBAND SAYING I SHOULD HAND OVER THE KEYS OF THE HOUSE TO THEIR AGENT. AS CONFUSED AS I AM AT THE MOMENT, THAT WAS HOW I WAS ON THAT DAY WHEN I TURNED IN THE KEY AND I EVEN CALLED THE INLAW TO GET MORE INFO ON WHAT WAS UP AND HE REPILED;

ME: HELLO

HIM: GIVE THE KEY TO KINGSLEY

*CLICK* THE CALL ENDS. WHAT RUDENESS I THOT?

THIS NOW JUGGLED MY MEMORY, AS I REMEMBERED B4 THEN, WHEN MY SISTER CALLED TO SAY A FRIEND OF HER’S WAS COMING TO SEE THE HOUSE. SO I THOT TO MYSELF;;; *OH, SHE KNEW ALL ALONG AND JUST KEPT MUTE*

I CONTINUED TO STAY, HOPING THE INLAW WOULD COME SOON AS I WAS TOLD TO PICK UP THEIR PROPERTIES IN THE HOUSE. DAYS TURNED TO WEEK (+DAYS) HE NEVER SHOWED UP.
ONE DAY, WHILE AT WORK, SHE CALLED ME TO SAY;

SHE: HOW U HOLDING UP?

ME: FINE

SHE: HOW U GONNA DO ABT ACCOMODATION? BUT U KNOW, I KNOW U CAN SORT URSELF OUT. U ALWAYS HAVE A WAY OF DOING SO, BLA BLA BLAA BLA BLA BLA .

* WONDERING WHERE ALL THAT CAME FROM*

AS I GOT BACK 4RM WORK, I DISCOVERED THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAD MOVED IN. I PCKED UP MY PERSONAL STUFF AND MOVED OUT WITH NO WHERE IN MIND. ONLY THEN DID I REALIZE, THAT SHE ALSO KNEW THAT THE NEW OCCUPANT HAD MOVED IN AND STILL “DID NOT TELL ME”.

A FRIEND OF HERS (MY SIS), AND HER HUSBAND PUT ME UP, TILL I SORT MY SELF OUT. THEN ON MONDAY, SHE CALLED SAYING;

“U HAVE TO GET BACK TO OUR HOUSE AND WAIT TILL MY HUSBAND OR I COME TO GET OUR STUFF AND BESIDES WHO ASKED U TO EVEN GO STAY WITH THOSE PPLE?”

I THOT TO MYSELF, FIRST, U WERE MOVING, U NEVER TOLD ME. U DECIDED TO RENT OUT THE HOUSE, U NEVER TOLD ME, NEITHER DID U THINK I WAS IMPT ENOUGH TO EVER CARE A HOOT ABOUT.

SO SHE GOES OFF, CALLING ME NAMES UPON NAMES, AND HAD EVEN TOLD MY MUM AND GRANDMUM SOME HEART WRENCHING STUFF ABT HER FRIEND THAT HAD OFFERED ME A ROOF OVER MY HEAD.

I WAS SO MAD, AND EVEN WHEN MY MUM AND GRANDMUM HAD CALLED SAYING THAT I SHOULD GO BACK TO THEIR HOUSE AND WAIT TILL HER HUSBAND GETS THERE, I GAVE THEM MY SIPMLE RESPONSE OF “NO, INFACT NEVER EVER”.
WHAT U GUYS DO NOT KNOW IS HOW HARD IT’S BEEN, LIVING WITH THESE PEOPLE.

NOW, I'VE FOUND SOME PEACE FROM WITHIN ME, I'VE RECONCILED WITH THE FACT THAT IN THIS LIFE, *U ARE ACCOUNTABLE FOR URSELF. THINK FIRST FOR URSELF B4 BRINGING ANYOTHER INTO THE PICTURE EVEN IF THEY ARE FAMILY*
LESSON WELL LEARNT.

TWENTY ELEVEN

*SMH*..................... HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF US HERE, AND YEAH, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ME, MISS FRAGILE, WITHOUT THE LOOKS.

OK, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY NAME IF NOT FOR THESE *AKPOS*(BAD BELLE) PEOPLE THAT MADE ME LOOSE ALL THE WEIGHT I WORKED SO HARD TO GAIN. MSCHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

IN THE SPIRIT OF THANKSGIVING,
1. THANK GOD FOR DIVINE SAFETY FOR LIFE AND PROPERTY OF MY FAMILY WHO WERE IN THE CENTRE OF THE STORM OF THE MAYHEM IN ABIA STATE.
2. THANK GOD FOR MY JOB AND NEW FRIENDS I ACQUIRED ON THE WAY
3. THANK GOD FOR ALL MY EX'S AND BEST FRIEND THAT GOT MARRIED/ENGAGED (ARROGANCE INCLUDED). U GUYS MADE ME PROUD.
4. THANK GOD FOR ALL MY FELLOW BLOGGERS THAT MADE IT TO THE NEW YEAR.U GUYS ROCK.

THANK YOU MISS @ILOLA FOR THE AWARD OF STYLISH AND VERSATILE BLOGGER.

7 THINGS ABOUT ME: NOW THATS PREETY THOUGH BUT I'L TRY. *SMS*

1. I'M NOT AFRAID TO FACE THE WORLD. CALL ME A SURVIVOR.

2. I'M STILL SCARED OF COMMITMENTS.

3. I'VE BECOME MORE CYNICAL (BAD NEWS)

4. I LOVE MY FAMILY MORE THAN ANY BOYFRIEND.

5. MOST TIMES I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.

6. I AM A BUNDLE OF SUCCESS. A BURNING AND A SHINNING LIGHT.

7. I LOVE WORK.

DONE.

ON THE AWARDS, I CALL ON *SHORTY*, *2CUTE*, *SUGARKING*, *ORIGINAL MGBEKE*, *NICE ANON*, 24YEAROLDTEENAGER*, *TISHA*, *NEEFEMI*, *LEGGY*, *UZEZI* *MYNE WHITMAN* *LDP*, *HARRY ITIE*,

I'M HAVING TO DEAL WITH A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE, ESP WITH THE HURT/LET DOWN FROM MY SISTER. BUH IT'SALL GOOD. *SHIT HAPPENS*.

TWENTY ELEVEN...................... I'M BACK ON MY BLOG. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
WATCH ME FINISH FIRST.