GOOD/NICE GIRL DON'T EXIST NO MORE

Officially, i kiss being LIL MISS GOOD/NICE GIRL, away and turning on the no-nonsense Radar on full blast. Thats the much i can take and the height of it all. If after reading this post, u choose to judge me, well, good for you..... I am the kinda girl, who will go an extra mile to make sure i give the best of me (be it time or money) to someone just to put a smile on their faces. Most times, however inconveniencing it may be, i still do it while consoling myself that its not me who has put in that capacity in me but GOD. I met a girl in my church sometime last year, and my fist encounter with her wasn't so pleasant. She asked me for a certain amount of money and i told her i don't have the said amount but i will see how i can help. And there went my peace, as this girl called the battery life out of my cell as though i was owing her and that if i don't want to give her the money, i should just tell her.#seeattitude#. Finally when i met her in church again, i cautioned her about the calls and gave her at least 75% of the said sum and told her that was all i have. A week later, she started with calls again asking for the balance of the money.... like WTF???? 2012, with all the pressures that it has presented me with, both from work and with my finances being stretched, i have been working long extra hours to score extra bucks to keep body and soul together. Not complaining cuz the Grace of God has been sufficient. This same girl,came asking me if she could stay with me for a while (since late 2011)till she gets her own place.. So i inquired about where she was before, and she gave me the story of how she had problems with her sister where she was living and her sister asked her to move out et all. Why won't you have problems with your attitide??? So i asked her how she intends to get a place and pay for it when she has no job??? Abuja with the crazy cost of accomodation.... I explained to her and gave her reasons why she can't stay with me. 1. My younger sister lives with me 2.My house is like a transit INN for family members passing by. 3. She doesn't have a job and keeping her means carrying her cost. If you think this is not good enough reason, then I DUNNO...... With all these, she still wont stop with all the calls and messages, plaguing my cell and also running my battery dead. A few weeks ago, while i was in a workshop in Niger state, she started with the calls and i sent her a message, that i'm away AND IF THERE'S A PROBLEM SHE SHLD SEND ME A TEXT RATHER THAN THE CALLS. And she replied me saying "SHE KNOWS I'M IN ABUJA", thereby calling me a liar to my face. The height of it all was last night, by midnight when the same girl turns up at my door, banging and flashing torchlight, playing songs on her phone and throwing things at me in my own room, as i was struggling to sleep with the heat. The annoying thing about it all was, this girl was in church cuz of the outreach meeting we had and never said she was coming to my place. Secondly, we left church by 8:30pm, so between the hours of 8:30 - 12am, where was she? I don't know whether to call her Psychotic or Possessed, but trust me, her action earned a hot slap today... that was a total disrespect of privacy......

JUST ON THE RANDOM

When the Thought to KILL comes to your mind, SUPPRESS it the Best way you can, or else you may just find out how so easy it is to do it.(Current State of Mind). 2012 with pressures for time as well as money........ Dealing with both as TIME = MONEY. I often times find myself lost in space, consumed by my own thoughts and last night, a more dangerous thought to KILL.. . . . . . . Anger, Boiling Hot......Thanks to Distance. Dear Lord, I'm sorry for i know i have sinned.Teach me to contain my anger which is just one Alphabet away fom DANGER. #angermanagement# Locked my boss out of the office yesterday, and prayed to God to step down his anger before i meet him, and he answered me...... a typical BAD day gone GOOD As difficult as it has been for me to make this commitment thing, i still find myself enraged by some actions and hence transfered agressions and the ultimate question of "WHY GET MARRIED ANYWAYS"? but then again, i shouldn't let people's experiences be the judge of something i haven't even ventured into. #makeyour'swork# An ex boyfriend's been calling and making sweet nothing talks about what was etc, as much as i have tried to be nice and not rude about it all, something tells me that he's up to no good. #i'msureheneedsaloan#, i'll probably use u for rituals cuz i need money too. When your Fart sends u running, something's not just right.... :D......#timeforsomeorangesandlotsofwater# What do u do on weekends??? if not for my church activities, i would love to spend the time in my office.. The weekend tip always does good. #pocketmoney# MEN love SKIRTS, as much as that still stands, SKIRTS now CHASE MEN. Imagine a lil 19 year old Rat pointing to her VG saying, i have what it takes.... #decencyoutathewindow21stCentury# RIP is such a sad phrase........ it feels like salt on an open wound.... #Godknowswhy# Happy Weekend y'all.

RANDOM NOTHINGS

Rating me recently, i've come to realize that i don't have a work-life balance. i recently went through my contract letter and i've come to ask myself the question, "WHAT DID YOU SIGN UP FOR"?? since forever, i've been working long hours and i must say, it has taken a toll on me.I am tired, physically and mentally. i am tired and i want out. but the bigger qestion is "OUT TO WHERE"? I am tired............... so very tired. Another question......"IF I WAS MARRIED, WILL I STILL BE AT THIS JOB"? Hell no.... i wanna have time for my husband........... i wanna be there for my kids....... if u at this point, thinking i'm subscribing to the full time stay at home wife, NO WAY....... but 'm subscribing to a job with better flexible hours and if that includes CIVIL SERVICE,........HELL NO............. I hate black heads, they hurt so much. Very much overated... BB. o, come on BB,. You are not ob BB. if only u were on BB............. GREAT LIE. So i got the BB, and its still like an occassional thing, wen u have the time, u ping and chat...... but i like it, as its easier to stay in touch wiv my sisters, shikena. On Lies, Cheats, and Love........ the 3 work hand in hand..... call them triplets. YES Some weeks ago, i checked into a hospital cuz my stress level was high, and after counselling by the kind hearted Doctor, the advice i got .......was to go and get married....... WHAT A RECOMMENDATION... So its leap year, and going by the old irish tradition of leap year proposals, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Did i mention that CIVIL SERVANTS ARE LOUSY???? This post is just as a result of the boredom that has ensued fom sitting down at a boring conference with LOUSY SERVANTS,. . . . . . . some HIDIOT is tapping my wifi and facing book.... y'all have a beautiful week.

DIARY OF A CONFUSED PERFECTIONIST

Everything is not Black and White. There are a variety of different colours........... Take a look at the Rainbow.


Dancing Around, with naked thoughts of a better Life..............
Self Psyched to take a Plunge...................
A trickled thought of Obvious Circumstances...................
A crippled zeal....................... Slowly,.......... fizzled out..........
It Died...................Dead................Circumstances, Perception............
And it Died,

Admiration for Success.............
Testimonies of those, who crossed the Bridge...
The Difference : Perseverance, Faith, Blindeye for Distractions.........
Obviously, they had seen the end from the Begining


MOTIVATION..........BUILD UP..........


What's your Story?
What's your excuse for Failure????
what have you Left Behind to be remembered with???

INTROSPECT

Sitting in dark shadows,

a sneak peak through the windows of my soul............

a certain cloud

of Uncertanity, masked in a thin ray of hope........

Fresh tears,........... Frozen on my cheeks..

A cold awakening..............

A voice lost in the wind.................

Echo.................. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The World has gone mad again.

19/01/12

HALF TRUTHS

And i was fed sweet lies from a heart.
I bought and paid for it with my precious time............
I sang those sweet purple melodies...
Of the Silver Rain and Golden Rays.
A Perfect tune, A Perfecr Dance,..............
A Certain's fools Paradise.

OF SAND CASTLES,
ON A SEA SHORE.

AND ICE MANSION,
WITH THE WARM MORNING SUN.

AND A STRAW HAVEN,
WITH A TINY SPARK.

GONE AWAY WITH THE BLINK OF AN EYE.

I RISE AGAIN TO MAKE MELODIES,
THIS TIME, OF FADED RAINBOWS ON TAINTED GLASS..
A VITAL LOSS, AND TRAGIC END..
A TOAST TO LEAVING AGAIN.

BAD DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 days ago, was just one of those days you feel like everything was working against you.

First, it was the stomach cramps, then the stress of going to Gwags (Uni Abuja) to submit my forms, and then having to go to the banks to find out that your account statement is seriously not in your favour, and the exchange rate had dropped to 158 naira per Dollar as against 164 two days before, and then going home to realize that the carpenter have left your work undone. Mschewwwwwwwwwwwww.


WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO????


So i went to church with a heart so full of worries, even though i knew i was so late. As i entered the church, the first words i heard were “HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE”........ And there i was still thinking when the pastor said, “I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY”........... i was to weak to even smile, so i said the words rather unconvincingly.


Got back home, with no sleep in sight, turned on the computer and as though i hadn’t had enough for the day, my MTN broadband also decided not to connect. WHAT A LONG NIGHT!!!!!

Thursday morning, with a heavy heart still, i managed to make it to work only for the 104 page document i had so tirelessly worked on and should print now cuz the boss needed it, decided to act up. My flash drive got corrupt and i just bowed my head in more sorrow. Managed to copy the document from the flash to my laptop and then sent it to the printer and it wouldn’t print. WTH??? The boss breathing down my neck, i managed to remain calm. So i copied the file into another flash drive and then on another system and sent to print.

As though i have not had enough already, halfway into the printing, the ink finished.......... BAD DAY HUH????????????

And so i log unto FB, to see if i can find anything to make me laff, but none. so i clicked on one of those applications "ON THIS DAY, GOD WANTS U TO KNOW", and was told that, "they believe God wants me to know that, ............ cnt remember it all, but has to do with Playing in the name of LOVE and being Impoverished". WTH??? Me playing in the name of LOVE??????? WAS THAT A JOKE OF SOME SORT?? I Signed out as quickly as i could. RUBBISH.

I SPENT THE REST OF THE DAY SLEEPING ON DUTY, and had a dream that brought hope alive again.


THE DREAM........................................

It was a gathering, more like in church, and i was meant to sing, but as much as i tried, i kept loosing my voice. The more i tried, the more frustrated i got. So i gave up. Yes, i gave up and decided to just get away cuz everything was still working against me................... when a voice said to me.............
“DON’T GIVE UP, AND DON’T GIVE IN. LOOK AROUND YOU, YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL........... ..........” and just as i was about to still walk away, i heard the song............ “HERE’S MY SHOULDER YOU CAN LEAN ON ME”. And just then i started to cry, and i WOKE UP.


Sometimes, we get blinded by our emotions and drown in sadness, even though what we should do is LOOK UNTO GOD, and maintain a positive confession.

Y'ALL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WEEKEND. Kisses