WORK: Occupied by work. Loving my job the more,and doing it all rite.
RELATIONSHIP: None at all. Jst takin it as it is. Bt a feeling dat i mite start one. Its bn almst 2 years.
So it was all abt my job. JANUARY.
Here it is, hating my job, after asking for permisn to attend my best friend's pop's burial& was landed a new target. Tried to meet up, bt overworkd my skinny arse and BROKEDOWN.
RLATNSHP: OK, sumtn's brewing with a young dude,whom witout even,........, i fell in love with. I was willing to let myslf flow with d tide. Sumtn to ease up with afta WORK.
Tried to kip up with my job but i knw not like i did b4. Going to work became UNINTRESTING, And i hated d begining of each week.
LOVE: Oh, wot it does to you..... Wantd 2 spend my all days,wit my CHARMING PRINCE, Bt DISTANCE + WORK, (Of couse,work. If nt no chop). Made do with d wkends we happen to see and the Phone calls. mchéeewww
I was less, productive at work and dat was bcuz i wanted to. It got worse, and my guilty conscience din't help me one bit, so i decided to up my Game.
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE THRILLS ME, A HA.
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE KILLS ME , A HA.
I WANTED TO KNOW SOME MORE..........
ARE U 4 REAL......? I Always thot.
Work got better though.
Work has improvd a lil bit. Less pressure frøm superiors. Oops, evritn's falling in place.
LOVE: Rlatnshp meltdown. I feel it, bt choose to ignore it. I WAS IN LOVE and din't wana c d glaring signs.
It came, a'las.
I was devastated.
I wantd answers.
I got none.
Evritn went blank.
LOVE SUCKS AIT? Messes wit ur head big time.
Work suffered more and more. Evritn was bleak. Couldn't concentrate, just couldn't.
PERSÖNAL LIFE: LOST weight, cldnt eat for weeks. Became more a shadow of myslf. DAMN IT. al bcuz of LOVE. I became agressive, hated evritn around me. CRIED almost evri nite. Bt dis too will pass.
WORK, i hated so much now. Jst went dere cuz i had to. Counting my days to leave d job 4 a while. To tink tings tru in my head. And dere it came, bt UGLY.
LIFE: MY heart, kinda played a trick on me. Went on admission in a hospital. Bt dis wasn't the kinda break i needed away from work. This was worse than work. I was in pains and yes ALL BECUZ OF LOVE.
The DOCTOR tried to talk me out of it.
My MUM did too.
So did my DAD.
Did i listen? Yeah i did. I startd to get ova it big time.
YES, I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEARTED.
BLUE, SINCE THE DAY WE PARTED.
WHY, WHY, DID WE EVA LET GO.
MY , MY,.....
I SHOULD JUST HAVE LET YOU GO.
FREE from work a'las. More time to focus and tink things thru.
Took a one week trip outside my ZONE. Yeah, it did help.
My best friend came visiting and told me stuff dat brought tears to my eyes.
I realizd hear anger. Bcuz of dis DUDE, Our friendship swayed and even her MOTHER, Complaind.
SHE BLURTD OUT: I HATE HIM 4 WOT HE DID TO YOU.
ME: I HAVEN'T GIVEN MYSLF A REASON TO HATE HIM.
So, she travels back,and i tot about our discussion and yeah rite. WAS HE WORTH OUR SEPERATION? DAMN. W'eve come a long way( 1996-2009). And jst a 3months FLASH, Almost ruined dat. NEVA AGAIN WIL I LET THAT HAPPEN.
I'm back home to see my family. And ave an urge to see him again.
WOT AM I DOING???
I WAS ANGRY AND SAD, WHEN I KNEW WE WERE THRU.
I CAN'T COUNT ALL THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED OVER YOU.
LOOK AT ME NOW...
WILL I EVER LEARN,
I DON'T KNW HOW...
BUT I SUDDENLY LOSE CONTRO-O-O-L,.....
THERE'S A FIRE WITHIN MY SOUL.
JUST ONE LOOK,(met him at my sista's place)
AND I CAN HEAR A BELL RING.
ONE MORE LOOK,
AND I FORGET EVERYTHING.
SO, some days ago, i go to see him, and..
DOT DOT DOT.
HAPI NW MONTH.