Tuesday, September 1, 2009

SUMMARY OF MY 1ST 8 MONTHS.....

Here comes

JANUARY:
WORK: Occupied by work. Loving my job the more,and doing it all rite.
RELATIONSHIP: None at all. Jst takin it as it is. Bt a feeling dat i mite start one. Its bn almst 2 years.

So it was all abt my job. JANUARY.


FEBRUARY:
Here it is, hating my job, after asking for permisn to attend my best friend's pop's burial& was landed a new target. Tried to meet up, bt overworkd my skinny arse and BROKEDOWN.

RLATNSHP: OK, sumtn's brewing with a young dude,whom witout even,........, i fell in love with. I was willing to let myslf flow with d tide. Sumtn to ease up with afta WORK.

MARCH:
Tried to kip up with my job but i knw not like i did b4. Going to work became UNINTRESTING, And i hated d begining of each week.

LOVE: Oh, wot it does to you..... Wantd 2 spend my all days,wit my CHARMING PRINCE, Bt DISTANCE + WORK, (Of couse,work. If nt no chop). Made do with d wkends we happen to see and the Phone calls. mchéeewww

APRIL:
I was less, productive at work and dat was bcuz i wanted to. It got worse, and my guilty conscience din't help me one bit, so i decided to up my Game.

LOVE:
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE THRILLS ME, A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
HONEY HONEY, HOW HE KILLS ME , A HA.
HONEY HONEY.
I WANTED TO KNOW SOME MORE..........

ARE U 4 REAL......? I Always thot.
Work got better though.

MAY:
Work has improvd a lil bit. Less pressure frøm superiors. Oops, evritn's falling in place.

LOVE: Rlatnshp meltdown. I feel it, bt choose to ignore it. I WAS IN LOVE and din't wana c d glaring signs.

It came, a'las.
It crashed.
I was devastated.
I wantd answers.
I got none.
Evritn went blank.

LOVE SUCKS AIT? Messes wit ur head big time.


JUNE:
Work suffered more and more. Evritn was bleak. Couldn't concentrate, just couldn't.

PERSÖNAL LIFE: LOST weight, cldnt eat for weeks. Became more a shadow of myslf. DAMN IT. al bcuz of LOVE. I became agressive, hated evritn around me. CRIED almost evri nite. Bt dis too will pass.

JULY:
WORK, i hated so much now. Jst went dere cuz i had to. Counting my days to leave d job 4 a while. To tink tings tru in my head. And dere it came, bt UGLY.

LIFE: MY heart, kinda played a trick on me. Went on admission in a hospital. Bt dis wasn't the kinda break i needed away from work. This was worse than work. I was in pains and yes ALL BECUZ OF LOVE.

The DOCTOR tried to talk me out of it.

My MUM did too.

So did my DAD.

Did i listen? Yeah i did. I startd to get ova it big time.

YES, I'VE BEEN BROKEN HEARTED.

BLUE, SINCE THE DAY WE PARTED.

WHY, WHY, DID WE EVA LET GO.

MY , MY,.....
I SHOULD JUST HAVE LET YOU GO.


AUGUST:
FREE from work a'las. More time to focus and tink things thru.
Took a one week trip outside my ZONE. Yeah, it did help.


My best friend came visiting and told me stuff dat brought tears to my eyes.
I realizd hear anger. Bcuz of dis DUDE, Our friendship swayed and even her MOTHER, Complaind.

SHE BLURTD OUT: I HATE HIM 4 WOT HE DID TO YOU.

ME: I HAVEN'T GIVEN MYSLF A REASON TO HATE HIM.

So, she travels back,and i tot about our discussion and yeah rite. WAS HE WORTH OUR SEPERATION? DAMN. W'eve come a long way( 1996-2009). And jst a 3months FLASH, Almost ruined dat. NEVA AGAIN WIL I LET THAT HAPPEN.

I'm back home to see my family. And ave an urge to see him again.
WOT AM I DOING???

I WAS ANGRY AND SAD, WHEN I KNEW WE WERE THRU.
I CAN'T COUNT ALL THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED OVER YOU.

LOOK AT ME NOW...
WILL I EVER LEARN,
I DON'T KNW HOW...
BUT I SUDDENLY LOSE CONTRO-O-O-L,.....
THERE'S A FIRE WITHIN MY SOUL.

JUST ONE LOOK,(met him at my sista's place)
AND I CAN HEAR A BELL RING.
ONE MORE LOOK,

AND I FORGET EVERYTHING.


SO, some days ago, i go to see him, and..

DOT DOT DOT.


S-E-P-T-E-M-B-E-R.

HAPI NW MONTH.

3 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

This year has been really hectic for you. Hope you're allright physically? The emotional healing will come with time. And now you meet him again? Be careful though.

Fragilelooks said...

MYNE,thanks a lot. physically, i'm doin just fine.thanks for the advice.

doll said...

wow